After a long day at work (thankfully no dead animals today) I decided to go swimming at the gym. I was dying to try on my new full coverage sport suit. It’s the kind of swimsuit my mom would approve. I worked out on the awful elliptical machine for a while and went upstairs to watch the swimmers without seeming creepy. I wanted to walk in and act like I swim all the time. I know the pool etiquette. I didn’t just almost walk into the mop closet. I’m cool. No one would know I haven’t actually swam laps in years!

Oh, except for when I stop mid lap, panting, and have to walk the rest of my lap. Swimming is hard! My poor little robot heart was ready to jump out of my chest.

I don’t know how long I stayed in the pool, I didn’t have my watch on me. I debated trying out the steam room but I saw a sign reading “No shaving in the steam room or sauna” and decided I did not need to sit around half naked with these people.

The whole locker room thing still bothers me. I never had to shower in gym in high school because we didn’t actually sweat. I don’t think our showers even worked. So I never got used to that whole changing in the open thing. Especially when some grandma is sitting next to me very slowly getting changed. I dried off twice with my swimsuit on and still she is fiddling with her shoes. What’s up old grandma, do you want to see my ass? Why does this old woman want to see my ass! Luckily, she left right before I took my suit off so I didn’t have to deal with the potential awkwardness of an ass fetish senior citizen.

I have to work from open to close tomorrow. I’m going to cry. 11 days left!

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