Don’t turn off your alarm before you are actually awake.
The CTA runs on the ground when you get far enough north. It’s like a Metra station except older and more flammable.
Chicago public libraries know absolutely nothing about other public libraries in Chicago. Also the 1st floor guard has no idea what goes on on the 2nd and 3rd floors. I don’t think he is allowed to touch the escalators.
At a used book sale, “Womens” section means a bunch of awful self help books including “Men are Jerks” and “How to be a proper domestic violence victim.” How to (head) means Chicken Soup for the Soul books. A lot of them. How to (hands) means how to needlepoint.
Do not buy classic lit if your roommate was an English major. The book you want is in the living room and you have never looked for it, illiterate bitch.
Do not drink in bars that have well lit areas. This just allows you to see the bug floating in your drink.
Bugs floating in your drink won’t kill you. Drink your overpriced alcohol.
The new neighbors do not yet feel comfortable looking out the window across the 3 feet that seperates your apartments. Don’t heckle them quite yet.
Being an office drone is very very sad and you will probably need Ritalin.
ritalin is bad
provigil is what you need