From a LSW prep course site:

“Access - Ability to access exam test banks and the site 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No more wasted time when you wake up at 2:00 PM”

2:00? Do all social workers having sleeping sickness? It’s not just me!

I was talking about preparing for the LSW exam today in group supervision at work. The other people in the group have taken their LSW exams already. I mentioned the online study guide I was going to subscribe to and they all said it sounded  like I was overpreparing. This is the first time I have heard that! My classmates were all about study guides, test prep courses and generally going crazy with anxiety.
So while I was avoiding doing actual work today, I thought about where my test anxiety is coming from.
Most of my classmates were concerned about the LSW exam. Most of my classmates were concerned about every damn paper, test, quiz and presentation we had to complete. Some of my classmates struggled to pass. I..didn’t. I’ve debated if this means I am academically talented or if my program was just really easy. Haven’t really decided on that one, depends how self depricating I’m feeling.

So maybe all of their worries got me anxious over nothing. I did suck on the few pages of practice questions we were given in class but those were LCSW test questions I later found out. LCSW exam is supposed to be more difficult than the LSW exam. This may be because by the time you take the LCSW exam, you have been out of school for at least 2 years. Every name and theory you never really use has leaked out of your brain by then.

So I’m still going to prepare because I just don’t know. And I’m not that snotty. I also don’t want to have to wait to retake this test if my theories are wrong and the test really is hard and I really am dumb.

I have some fun people in my office but I like the office types I run into outside even better. I usually walk to the el stop after work rather than wait for the bus since it takes almost the same amount of time for me to angrily stare and wait for the bus as it does for me to walk to the el stop.

On the way to the el I keep bumping into this crazy old board of trade guy. I admit I know nothing about BOT but this guy is wearing a brightly colored, meshed back jacket so he is a runner? He is a lot older looking that the other brightly colored jacket guys. He always has a slightly lost look on his face and sometimes runs into things like street lamps and homeless people. I expect to one day find out that he is not a BOT employee but once was 20 years ago before he went crazy and killed a man with his oddly large forehead.

I also like “security” at the first floor of my building. I’ve never seen them doing anything other than stand there but every Wednesday through Friday morning they remind me my work week is almost over. Oh ya, they know what the drones want to hear.

I blame the rain for my laziness. For reminding me that summer and warm days are coming to an end. But with the end of summer comes my birthday and Halloween, both of which I still celebrate. My roommate keeps asking me what to do for our birthdays (which are around the same time) to which I respond with a big shrug. House parties are nice for their Jello shots and convienence but it takes special efforts to make them amusing and not turn into a geek fest. Bars are nice except for when I get drunk and punch people in the ear.

The only TV show I watch (er, download) regularly is Entourage and the season recently came to an end or few months break..something where there won’t be new episodes for a while. So I had to go get my fix somewhere else. Jeremy Piven is in the news because he said something sassy at The Emmys and looked drunk. That’s pretty much his look all the time except when he is being a sexy Jew

in Gap ads.

There was a delicious lamb

I succumbed to the gothness and went to the Jhonen Vasquez signing. Since I went to the comic book store before I went shopping I got a low number for my place in line. So I was in line next to all the suburban kids that are really fucking annoying.
Next to weird comic book guy, I was probably the oldest person there. Or maybe it just felt like it since I was one of the few non-goth dressed people. The girl in line next to me asked how/when I heard about Jhonen Vasquez and I told her that a high school boyfriend had a JTHM comic probably somewhere around 1995. She laughs, “I was 3 in 1995.” :(

I told Jhonen that I saw him at the same comic book store 10 years ago. He signed a comic for me then too but it was left with an evil ex about 6 years ago. Which is really the reason I went. I lose very few physical things (I won’t get angsty and talk about the emotional things I lose) to bad relationships. I wanted to replace this thing.

And there is Jhonen looking just as cute as he did 10 years ago. Damn you purple hair boys!

I had him sign comics for a couple people but this one is mine.

Went to Liar’s Club tonight. I live close by but I think I’ve only been there once before. It was fun, some dance-able music, some not. But I think the thing that really defines this bar is a guy got naked and danced to “It’s Gettin Hot In Here” and no one really paid attention. Some people danced with him, some ignored him. The bartenders either didn’t seem him or ignored him as well.

Ya, I’d go back.

Jhonen Vasquez will be signing stuff at Chicago Comics Saturday.

And it’s listed under Literary Events in the Sun Times.

So do I battle stupid goth kids in bad vinyl to see him? Fuck, I was a stupid goth kid last time I saw him. But I was not wearing vinyl!

I was wearing a dog collar.

Work is getting slightly more interesting. I brought a macro social work case study to group supervision today. We discussed the supervisor’s management skills (or lack of) and the way the employees reacted to the problems in the case. Then we started to relate certain ideas to our workplace.

One guy, who I just call Bahston because of his accent, started talking about how the physical layout of offices influences employee relations. Most offices (including our own) are laid out in cube farms where everyone is seperated to a certain degree. On our floor we have a small kitchen that is functional but not inviting. The meeting rooms are boring and the “break room” is rarely used. The break room actually holds some kind of bad stigma, during my first week someone commented that I was “smart enough not to eat lunch in the break room.” We have scheduled lunch times that vary, so we have coverage at all times. The company is large and has a high turnover rate.

All of these things combined create a lonely workplace. It’s hard to get to know coworkers so it’s hard to rally, gather..riot. All of these things may be very obvious to others but I’m new to the cube dwelling. My last jobs included cramped offices with multiple people or no offices at all.

To add to these lonely feelings, the girl I trained with up and quit today. She gave me warning but decided somewhere along the way that she was just going to bail rather than give 2 weeks notice.

Slightly happier-I’m starting to get some odd/interesting calls that I will post about. Probably under protected posts just so I don’t feel too horrible about that whole confidentiality thing. So register if you haven’t already so you can login and view protected posts!

Much happier-I gets my first full check tomorrow! Yay money!

I am looking through my box of stuff for a case study. I saved so many school related things but I can’t seem to find one good case study to bring to group supervsion tomorrow!

Maybe I cannot find what I want because I am distracted by the others paper memories. Photos, newspaper articles, letters and postcards. Songs about my sexy robot heart and poems I wrote as an 8th grader about love. (WTF did I know about love as an 8th grader?) A story about a soldier dying in combat as written by his child he never met. Ooh, I was so damn political. Postcards of guys in speedos? Thanks, Grandma. A ticket stub to Puppetry of The Penis. Ya, I save stuff like that.

But no case study!

It’s going on week 3 of new job and I am able to get up in the morning with little problem. I get a little bored and stiff sitting all day but I manage that well too. I print lots of things which requires me to walk across the office to the printer.

But I get home,cook, eat, whatever else I have to do and then I crash. Once or twice I have managed to set my alarm and wake up in under an hour. Most of the time I sleep for hours. I don’t go to the gym nearly as often, I haven’t socialized much during the week and I don’t have the energy to do anything creative.

Even though my job is light on the counseling, I still get calls that stress me. I’ve been getting a lot of domestic violence calls and I’m supposed to flag some as risk and forward them on. I keep getting negative feedback from the clinical supervisor. I didn’t flag something I was supposed to, I flagged something and wasn’t supposed to. Her definition of risk seems to change all the time. I don’t actually know this person, I just communicate via email. I think I have to go talk to her and figure out wtf is going on. As much as I love online communication, I can’t get a feel for her through messages.

Today my last call was a suicide risk. I was supposed to call a client that was suicidal. I called, the client didn’t answer the phone. That’s a great feeling to leave with.

So I need to go exercise, do something to rid myself of the stresses of my job but my body keeps calling for my bed. I need to change this soon because I know it is a hard habit to break.  I know as a social worker I have to find better ways to deal with the stress of work. This isn’t a right now thing, this is going to be my life.