I haven’t been posting this weekend because I have been too busy being a fairy! (yes, I know exactly how that sounds) My Puck costume fell a little short when I couldn’t find furry pants to make animals legs. So I decided to move it over a little and just be a “woodland fairy.”

A friend made me horns for my birthday, they kind of looked like marshmallows when they were sitting on my desk, but on my head, they were very good. The rest of the outfit was pieced together from costume shops, random clothing stores and leafy things around the apartment.

My boss pretty much said no to wearing a costume at work. She said it in a joking way, but I think the answer would be no no matter what way I asked. So I’m going to work as an emo kid. I will technically still be wearing “work appropriate” clothes so they can’t say anything about it. I thought about going goth but I don’t think I still own goth clothes that could be worn at work. And since I work with an emo kid, this costume will be fun. I can’t wait for the icy glares on the Damen el stop.

Just like every other non-Republican in Chicago, my heart is aflutter reading the rumors that Obama may run for President.

I first fell for Mr. Obama not for his politics but for his writing. One of my grad school professors suggested I read his book, Dreams from my Father.  The book tells his pre-Senate story from his childhood to activism in Chicago. He wrote about how hard it was to advocate for communities he did not belong to and he searched for the community, for the family he belonged to. Advocacy and community organization are big parts of social work and Mr. Obama was hitting both topics. And he wrote about smoking pot in his tiny Chicago apartment. Oh, you’re scandalous Mr. Obama!

Why else is he so popular? He’s hot. The bitches love him, he totally has that JFK thing going. He has some more hotness left in him so even if he doesn’t run this time, he should be good to the election after that.

But what do people really think? Well, if you visit CraigsList Rants N Raves, the underbelly of the internet, people think “OMG Blackie!” Damn you Mr. Obama, why do you only have to be half white? Your diversity is messing everything up!

It’s an interesting question, how bigoted is America? A better question is, who do we hate more? I’m imagining a bracket system like college basketball play offs. Who does American hate more? African Americans vs women. Go!

Wheel chair President vs blind President? (I know Franklin Roosevelt used a wheelchair, but never in public so he doesn’t count.)

Gay vs. Pagan?

Obese vs. diminutive?

The fun can go on forever! I don’t know who Americans hate more but I’m pretty sure an African American wheel chair bound lesbian would never be President. Which sucks because there might be a brilliant dyke on wheels out there just waiting to install ramps in the White House.

I saw Speak Out: I had an Abortion tonight. It was being screened at a local volunteer run, activist book store filled with pins, books, posters and tshirts urging you to boycott, protest and overthrow. I wonder how many pins and posters contradicted causes?

So in the cold back room of this bookstore, a local pro-choice group screened the film. It was a few group members, my friend and myself. i think that says a lot about the state of activism in Chicago. The movie feature 11 women telling their stories. Some women told what it was like to seek an abortion before it was legal. Some women told what it was like to have an abortion before or after they had children of their own. I think they found a good selection of women to demonstrate that there is not a certain type of woman that has an abortion.

I would have liked more depth or maybe just better editing. The women’s stories started to all sound the same. A story doesn’t have to be long to be meaningful and memorable. The Vagina Monologues demonstrated that. This movie kind of felt like a commercial for abortion.

I had to smile after the movie when the 18 year old in cowboy boots and a patched skirt turned off the TV and squeaked “does anyone need to talk about the movie?” I know, that was me when I was 18.

Now I’m old and seeking a different type of activism. Every day isn’t a Pride parade and I don’t need to wear a shirt that says “I had an abortion.” I need well written publications made with a color printer! I need activities that will reach large groups of voters! I need media that actually reaches people outside of the cause instead of just being mastabatory material passed around a circle jerk of fellow activists.

It’s interesting how I found this story. On Fark there is a link to an article on Daily Kos about CNN’s lack of coverage of real news. The article’s author takes out all of the “fluff” news from CNN’s homepage and is left with a few links. News sites publish crap and huge ads. Agreed.

One of the “fluff” pieces that was taken out: Social Worker Beaten To Death, Baby Missing. I don’t have a link to the original article because by the time I looked at CNN.com, the article had changed to baby found and linked to another article questioning if social workers are in danger at their jobs. I understand not everyone cares if social workers are in danger. Or if this woman was beaten to death. However, I wouldn’t call the story “fluff”. Fluff is Paris Hilton’s new clothing line, pet or STD. Fluff is an article about the dangers of MySpace that just cites all the other articles about the dangers of MySpace without offering any new information.

So fluff or not, if this story is covered by the local news, I will be getting a panicked call from my mother tomorrow. Even though my job is not remotely dangerous, she worries about my career and my future jobs. My safety is something I consider when choosing jobs. People that knows me know my “My client is a murderer!” story. And that was in an agency setting. A ton of entry level jobs require home visits and transporting clients in your own vehicle. I won’t do either.

Most agencies do not have enough money or staff to send social workers out in pairs or hire escort staff. I went to grad school with lots of DCFS workers. They all had stories about violent parents or children threatening them, pulling weapons, locking them inside.

I’m afraid of becoming a fluff piece.

Birthday party weekend is coming to an end. There was alcohol, cupcakes and fondue so I’m happy. On my actual birthday I lured my roommate out to have daquiris and burritos with me.

On Friday we had our party at Cobra Lounge. We took over the stage area. A ton of my friends from my last job came and those bitches know how to party so I had fun and stayed out til 4am. We didn’t go through all of our cupcakes, 3 dozen was a bit of an overkill. We left the rest for the wait staff because I didn’t want a ton of cupcakes sitting around the house. We just finished off remains of the cupcakes from our tastings.

Yesterday my family took me out for fondue. Yes, I rock it like 1980. Fondue is damn good!  My older brother who is going through a lot of stress right now has found Jesus or something. So he spent most of the night telling us about the revelations he has had during his special Jesus time. My younger brother has found a girlfriend with big boobs. He didn’t share details of his special boobie time but he is a happy kid.

I tried not to let my boy’s absence get me down. That whole situation is pretty frustrating.

My air conditioner is still sitting on my back porch drying out and waiting to be boxed for the season and already I have gone to fetch my warm blanket and space heater. My warm blanket will have to be washed before I can use it because it’s musty and my heater has to warm up before I turn it on since it’s been stored on the porch. It is going to be a chilly night.
My nose is really cold.

Soon I will be..older!

I started to go off on a rant about where I thought I would be at this age when I was talking to my boy last week. The only things I could think of were a non-entry level job and my own place. I don’t remember what I had expected out of life when I was younger. I’ll have to check some old journals.I’ll probably find something about Kurt Cobain and being dead by this age.

I have training at work tomorrow and Friday. I miss grade school when I had my birthday off because of Columbus Day.  Training at 7am will not stop me from drinking and dancing like a monkey later that night! There’s no dancefloor at the bar but I will dance dammit.

I’m sad that my boy won’t be there. Not having a date for your own party is kind of lame. I think I’m just bitter about him always being gone. I kept my bitterness to myself and drove around tonight listening to Elliot Smith until I realized that was putting me in a worse mood. I have this magic way of thinking about situations that could happen and getting upset over them like they really were happening. The upsetness goes away within a few minutes but it is odd feeling real anger over something that did not happen. It could happen, yes. A lot of things could happen..

I just got my medical insurance card in the mail. It is a very happy day for me. I can finally fix my broken parts!

Something I have noticed on the el the last couple days:

Stand next to the goth/punk/emo kids when getting on the train. I think the older people that usually stand there oblivious to the world back up for the crazy looking kids, creating more room. And you get to listen to the kids talk to each other and think about how stupid you were when you were their age. Or if they are angsty adults, you can play “Where do you work?” Record shop? Hair salon? Used book store? They always get off at Damen.

My roommate and I decided we were going to have cupcakes at our birthday party. There are a couple boutique stores around us that just sell cupcakes as well as some bakeries. But which cupcakes do we want?

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You know that client I felt all warm and fuzzy about helping? She never called back for the shelter list. Everytime I try to call her, the line is busy.

I think this more accurately describes how a social worker feels.