I recently came across Holla Back NYC, a blog about fighting back against street harassment. A lot of cities/states are linked on this blog, but NYC seems to be the oldest and most active. Women share their stories of harassment and post pics of the harasser if they got one with their camera phone.
Some stories tell of blatant harassment, cat calls, ass grabbing and other joys of wearing a skirt. Some stories were more of grey areas, subtle come ons, compliments, strangers starting a conversation. So what makes a woman scream “fuck you!” in response to a compliment? Why do some women snarl at conversation starters? “Crazy feminists” isn’t the answer. It’s bigger than that. It’s somewhere in the land of feeling generally unsafe and hypervigilant. Or feeling disrespected by some men and generalizing those feelings toward all men. Just got back from a bar and feel like every man that looks at you is hitting on you so you snap back at any attempt of communication from a man? Ya, some of it is contextual too.
Example: I will forever feel bad for passing up some random guy while saying sorry because I assumed he was asking me for change. As I walked past him he managed to finish his request for…directions. Oops.
I like this post where the woman actually tells the conversation starting stranger how she feels. It makes a lot more sense than screaming at a random guy. But growling “go away” or walking away is a lot easier than opening up and telling a stranger you feel vulnerable. And maybe not so safe if he really is a “predator”.
So like usual, I have no answers, only thoughts on why and what to do.