I turned in everything the research job asked for. I got letters of recommendation, transcripts and I went to the doctor. I am very anxious for a confirmation call now. I’m not feeling as bad about leaving my current position anymore. Even with the promotion, I will still be making more at the research job. And my current job isn’t all that interesting. I feel like I’m running in circles all day, doing follow-up upon follow-up.
At the doctor, I mentioned my sleeping problems, night terrors and constant napping. The doctor suggested a sleep study. So I’m going to hopefully make an appointment before I quit this job so I can suck all I can out of my stupid HMO. She wants to see if there is a neurological cause or if I’m not getting my good “deep” sleep. She also referred me to a psychologist just in case it’s none of the above and I’m just fucking crazy. She mentioned putting me on Tegretol and I’m happy she can’t (or won’t) because of my defective heart.
I told her I’m trying acupuncture and looking to go a non-drug route. I get bitter about taking meds after a while. I get angry when my big uncoated pills get stuck in my throat or when I feel sick because even after all these years I still forget a dose occasionally. It’s a common feeling among those with any sort of chronic illness. I’m sick of being sick. Fix me NOW or leave me alone. And goddamn, stop lumping me in the same category as other sick people. I hate them.