Last day! I’m a shark! Suck my cock!
I finished up all my cases like a nice employee, my coworkers fed me chocolate twice and my supervisor did not even say goodbye to me. Employees usually send out goodbye emails to the department when they leave. Being a snotty bitch, I had to send out a sarcastic one. The trick is to send out something that isn’t so offensive that a supervisor will retract the email and send it out late enough that a supervisor won’t come by to talk to me about it. So 10 minutes before 5, I send out a goodbye letter template and don’t fill in the fields. So it says “dear (name), I leaving (company)…”
As soon as it comes out, I walk to a coworkers desk and I can here the cube dwellers talking about it. It went right over some of their heads but most people understood where I was going with it. We get about 1 goodbye email a week at this place, turnover is high and morale among the easily replaceable cogs is low.
Today my friend forwarded me an email that my former supervisor sent out in response to my email. She said that my email was open to interpretation but she wanted to her team to know that they were valued. Valued how I wonder? With the low pay or with the job that is marketed as clinical but isn’t?
After work I got drunk at Roscoe’s, convinced coworkers I would not abandon them just because I’m changing jobs and watched karaoke.
My new job contacted me, I won’t be starting until Wednesday now. More time to be laaazy! Tomorrow I get my hair chopped all super cute Victoria Beckham-like.
Today I went for my sleep study consult. Minor respiratory issues, not enough to say I have sleep apnea. And the neurologist made it sound like he couldn’t diagnose night terrors because no one has ever seen me have one. I didn’t have them as a kid, just was a sleep walker/talker. I don’t have them when I am sleeping with someone and my roommate has never heard me screaming. He pointed out since no one has heard me scream, I may not actually be screaming. I just think I am. So he gave me the vague “parasomnias” label, gave me a script and the psychologist at the clinic suggested counseling. Pretty much what I was expecting but as I’ve said before, it’s nice to be able to rule out medical problems.