I got my business cards! I am very excited at my pseudo-professionalism. Add bus card holder to the list of things my little brother is going to engrave for me.

I went to a painting party at a friend’s new house yesterday. It’s a dirty trick to call an event like that a party but I was on to their games. So I helped paint friend’s living room blood red (sorry, terra cotta red) and since she is one of my old coworkers from the vet clinic, the day wouldn’t be complete without a bleeding animals. She already had a puppy she was fostering in her backyard. The owners couldn’t treat it and it was being signed over to a rescue.

Then in her moving earlier in the day, she saw a bunch of people standing around a bloody mess of a dog that was victim of a hit and run. So she took it to the vet and when I came over we brought it back to her house for overnight care. I posted about it on CraigsList and she posted a sign at the accident site but so far no responses. So if anyone wants a Jack Russell terrier with a fucked up face, let me know. Unfortunately, no one that saw the accident got a license plate number. I’d like to fuck up that person’s face a bit.

Edit: I should just add this here since I was already talking about dogs. I went to visit my parents tonight and usually my dog Zoe greets me at the door and as excited, semi-retarded dogs do, she pees. So I try to greet her outside or tell her to go outside as I come in. And that’s what I did today. But I got distracted by a conversation with my dad and forgot to let the dog back in. A few minutes later my dad asks where the dog is and runs outside because he hears growling. A neighbor was walking her dog and the dogs started fighting. (Parents’ front yard is not fenced) The woman walking her dog was crying and her dog had a puncture wound on it’s back. We took Zoe inside and the woman took her dog to the vet. I looked Zoe over, she had saliva on her neck so she was bitten but no puncture wounds.
Later the woman came back, said her dog is OK, just the one puncture wound. My parents paid her vet bill, my dad felt horrible about forgetting the dog outside even though it was really me who forgot the dog. Later, I was petting Zoe and she screamed when I touched her neck. She cried when she got up a few times so no puncture wounds but the other dog definitely hurt something in her neck so she’s off to the vet tomorrow. Poor dog, victim of my bad memory :(

I saw Peter Bjorn and John last night at The Vic. I had previously seen them when a coworker and I snuck out of work for a mid-day Apple store appearance. The show at The Vic was the last show of the tour so they were a lot scruffier and possibly drunker than they were at the Apple store.

They played all the songs I knew and a few I didn’t, so maybe they’re working on a new album? They sang Young Folks with the female keyboardist from the opening band. Much better than the bassist/guitarist singing both parts like they did at the Apple store.

I spent the first half of the concert on the floor next to some drunk girls with a flask and the 2nd half sitting way up in the balcony because that’s what the old folks do.

I went to a friend’s wedding this weekend. She had a nice outdoor wedding and reception at the same venue. I love weddings that keep things simple like that. Also it allows you to drink before the ceremony.

She’s a dog lover and had one of her dogs act as ring bearer in the ceremony. I thought it was cuter than any little kid drooling on his overpriced suit.

When we got back from wedding land, I went with another friend and her boyfriend to help them pick out a dog at Animal Control. Animal Control is a sad place and it got to my friend almost immediately. I am toughened from my years of vet clinic work and wandered the room talking to the dogs. I lured them toward an adorable lab/pit bull mix and they’re taking him home tomorrow! Pit bulls are stereotyped as such bad dogs when they’re actually really good. It’s the owners that bring out their bad side.

So yay good weekend for puppies!

And good week for me! My boss is starting to give me more research-like activities to do and less filing-like work. I went to a carnival and ate cotton candy. I got stupid drunk at the wedding and danced in a dress.

I had orientation today, 3 weeks after I started and learned nothing except the medical insurance choices suck and I don’t get to take my birthday off as a paid holiday because I haven’t been there for 90 days. Not that I was planning on it until I saw that birthdays are included in the paid holidays list. The medical insurance thing bothers me, they only have HMOs and neither of them include the hospital I go to.

The excessively long meetings are making me more tolerant of things like a detailed explanation of how to fill out insurance forms. Maybe it’s because I’m new but I still like listening to the big bosses talk. When the CEO came in and started talking evidence based practices, I was all about it.

When I got back to my office, I saw an invoice for SPSS, statistical software that I really don’t know how to use but said I did in my interview. Looks like I better start whoring myself to math geeks on Craigslist.

I’ve been trying to make the internet find me dates, it’s doing an OK job so far. I keep making up all these rules for the dates/potential dates to follow, some I’m not sure I can follow myself. Maybe most people think “Oh I barely know this person, I can just disappear and it’s cool.” Most likely due to my history with disappearing boy, that’s Not Acceptable. The way I see it is: “I barely know this person, I can say whatever I want with no repercussions! I’m going to tell them I hate them right now!”

I’m so going to write my own dating rules book. And Mystery will not be in it. Know why? Because he’s fucking Canadian.

Chicagoist writes about Ministry’s latest work
I still love Ministry even if Al is a dick. They’re stage shows are great.

Early 2 Bed presents Bondage on a Budget
Most of their workshops are 101 level and I’m definitely grad level for sex ed classes but this seems useful. When I don’t have a monogamous LTR partner, I can’t justify buying toys that need 2 people.

Also, had a 3 hour meeting today. Wanted to drink at lunch. Had to wait, drank tamarindo margaritas with the roommate after work and they were damn good. I will have good alcohol induced sleep tonight.

Still sick but getting better. I had to leave a meeting on Friday because I was coughing so much but that ended up being a good thing since the meeting was really long and boring. Yes, I want to know about the new client tracking program. No, I do not want to watch the IT guy help a coworker who barely knows how to copy and paste how to update this program so it’s ready by a rapidly approaching launch date.

Did you know that Maggie Gyllenhaal is the new Agent Provocateur model? (NSFW) Fucking hot. And did you know AP sells a$300 crop? They call it a whip but it’s clearly a crop.

I will be representing the agency at an internship/job fair on Monday. I’m happy to do it because the fair doesn’t start until noon (sleeping in, yay!) and it means my boss trusts me not to fuck this up. Which means I can’t fuck this up. I was given little prep on this fair other than a few emails forwarded to me and some vague internship descriptions. I stayed late making copies of all the things I’m going to be handing out and bought a new shirt so I will look extra cute. I still have to staple some handouts since I was too impatient to let the copier staple them and actually read the handouts. This is the first time in a long time that I will be bringing work home with me but I really don’t mind. At least not yet. I guess that’s what happens when you like or care about your job.

Everytime I post, I am reminded that I have a draft pending, an entry that I have no posted yet. It’s called “In defense of the slut” and I wrote it a while back but felt like it wasn’t finished. I should work on it some more, it could definitely be basis to more writing and a personal research project. Like cupcake research.

Also, omg what am I going to be for Halloween?

I was coughing so much at work today that the CEO called me from his office down the hall to make sure I am OK. I have a hard time convincing people that I am getting better but my colds take a very predictable pattern, ending with violent coughing fits. This is the part where I stare at the cold medicine aisle for a 2nd time hoping in the last 3 days some new magic medicine I can take has come out. There is none I can take, I get something with DM in the title indicating it will stop my coughing long enough for me to feel my heart pound in my chest in angry response to my medication choice.

I went to Kuma’s last night with a big group. They were pretty awesome to us and the big mess of a burger was the first real food I’ve eaten in days. That must mean I’m feeling better! I’m told I get to pick the restaurant next month. I’m thinking something with trannies.

I’m told only virgins can tame unicorns.