It takes a strong ego to clothes shop with a big ass.

I tried to find a New Years Eve dress tonight. Something a little dressy but not sparkly like I did last year.

Why dress shopping sucks this year:

Trapeze dresses
The model doesn’t even look good in this dress. I tried on one, thought I looked like I belong in a 70′s sci-fi movie, made some raygun noises in the mirror and changed.

Jewel dresses
I’m excited about wearing real jewelry with my dress, I don’t need you to bedazzle it for me. A lot of the extra large “jewels” are placed around necklines which are not good for making the dress cover boobies. Unlike girl in picture, I like to have some parts clothed.
That covers most of the dresses so now all that’s left is

ugly prints and weird ruffled dresses

I would rather not look like I belong on a shelf in a 7 year old’s room.

“My Christmas was great! How was yours? That’s good!”

Repeat X Infinity

That’s been my week at work so far but Christmas really wasn’t bad. I saw the relatives I like and just happened to miss the relatives I don’t like. I got a chance to see my rapidly changing teenage nephew. He has a Myspace profile now so he must be all growed up! I played Rock Band with my cousins and nephew and it was confirmed that I’m terribly uncoordinated. Too uncoordinated to play fake video game drums.

My big brother found Jesus this year so he told me all about Jesus showing him the way and Satan trying to lead him astray and I gave him logical explanations for all his Jesus/Satan arguments. But like a good Christian, he didn’t listen to what I was saying and just kept jabbering about god.

I saw the movie Juno a couple weeks ago but I don’t think I wrote about it. It’s great, go see it. Don’t tell me you don’t like indie movies. Go see it, snob. It’s like Knocked Up but good. It fully addresses the option of abortion and doesn’t pull a shmashmortion like Knocked Up.
I think I just don’t like Judd Apatow. Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, Superbad-didn’t really like any of them. And it’s not because I don’t like stupid comedies. I still watch Billy Madison way more than I should.
I’m looking forward to There Will Be Blood mostly because I’ve never seen critics circle jerk around a movie like this. Magnolia made me want to die a little but I liked Boogie Nights and Punch Drunk Love.

I’m going to be applying for a small research grant soon as I figure out what to do for my project. My agency is pretty awesome in that it treats many populations in multiple settings but it doesn’t help me narrow down what I want to study. I lean toward substance abuse treatment because it’s pretty straightforward but I personally have an interest in HIV prevention. The one population my workplace does not target is GLBT so maybe I should get some queer research going!

I’ve been thinking lately about exploring my own semi-professional interests. I’ve always wanted to write a book having to do with sex/gender/feminism but have trouble coming up with a topic that I feel is new or at least not beaten to death. I’ve been doing some research on tubal ligation because a medical professional claimed it was “almost obsolete” due to new IUDs and I wanted to see if her claims are valid (not really).

The two things that IUDs and tubal ligation have in common is that they’re a pain in the ass for young, single, childless women to get. Some doctors say you have to have a child or an IUD is impossible to insert. Studies claim women who get their tubes tied in their 20′s are more likely to change their mind but Essure, a new permanent method of female sterilization, is growing in popularity. (Same concept as tubal ligation but non-reversible.) And from my own experience, doctors are reluctant to sterilize single, childless women. So I think I have my topic.
Another thing that is motivating me to explore this topic is the number of religious, natural family planning and marital books that come up when I search “birth control” on Amazon.

A fellow goony goony goon pointed out that the nerds at SomethingAwful are doing something nice. Kind of.

This thread asks goons to donate to Heifer International. The Heifer Project is an awesome charity that donates animals to families to so they can work toward self-reliance and they can pass on their animal’s offspring or product. (Well, by-product like milk. I don’t think you’re supposed to eat your animal.)
So far the goons have donated over 1 million bees! It’s the best and worst of ideas. It’s a swarm of love.

I like the comments in the thread about the guy that has to go collect bees to deliver to people. Someone suggested he will probably just dress up dogs in bee costumes. I know I would. Bees are fast!

So big project is done at work. It ended up going really well, we got awards, everybody hugged. Ya, I’m serious about that last part. I got a hug from the CEO! And I got a special shout out for being nice. Nice! Haha!

Now my boss is taking time off for the holidays so I won’t have much to do. I played with the bling today. I would loves me some alexandrite and diamonds but I always opt for something more practical.  Alexandrite is just so pretty! It changes colors in different light.

I did more Xmas shopping on Amazon today and updated my wishlist because my mom asked me what I wanted for Xmas and I just kind of stared even though I was thinking about what I wanted from the parents earlier in the week.

I found my big brother’s MySpace profile and he lies in it and say he is 10 years younger than he is! Ha!

OkCupid has a new feature that allows you to propose edits to another user’s profile. The edits don’t actually show up until/if the other user approves them.

I so want to go back to profiles of guys that I dated or guys that incessantly messaged me and propose edits.

“Message me if you like guys that disappear without warning.”

“Likes: Claiming that I am not sure if I have messaged you before even though I have sent at least 6 messages to you within the last year.”

“Most private thing I am willing to admit here: I have nothing going for me other than a large cock.”

“Picture caption: This is the only clean shirt I own.”

Today I climbed a ladder in the rain while wearing heels, started to take apart a computer without unplugging it and smashed my back against an open drawer. I am all around safety queen.

It’s December so that means working at my dad’s store on the weekends (and usually depression. Hmm, I wonder if the two are related). To add to the chaos this year, he moved his store last month. So we are unpacking, fixing up a new store, decorating it for X-mas and preparing for general craziness.

I can’t really update, my hand is killing me, my old bones.