I wrote this a while back and never posted it. I feel OK about posting it now. Probably because I’m in a monogamous relationship now and feel somewhat detached from what I wrote because I have an awesome sex life and a boyfriend! But I really was frustrated at the time I wrote this and even though I got what I was looking for, still think what I wrote is valid:
A lot of things run through my head while I try to finish making a cute DIY purse. Mainly, why the hell am I making a purse? I don’t even like purses.
Some other thoughts go a little deeper. I’ve been single for a few months and recently decided to start dating again. Of course that means I’m never going to find anyone to date because that’s what happens when you look. But that dirty Murphy’s Law is not what I was focusing on tonight. Tonight I was thinking about how some girls are the ones you love to fuck and some are the ones you want to date.Why do these have to be two exclusive groups?
I have no trouble finding people to sleep with. Men will fuck anything that offers. And I’m not just referring to one night stands. Men will continue to fuck anything that offers for as long as they can get away with it. The problem is the girl they want to fuck isn’t the girl they want to have a relationship with.
I, along with some of my slutty friends, have been given compliments about having the best kinkiest sex/sexual act or hottest tits/ass/body. In bed they look at you with excitement in their eyes and they smile when other guys check you out in that dress. Sex or sometimes casual dating goes on and then there is an abrupt halt. He stops calling, grows distant, pushes away advances toward a real relationship. Later you find out about the girl that he started dating after you. She’s not as cute, not as good in bed, not as fun but he’s willing to put up with the things she is lacking because she is good girlfriend material. There’s always a feeling of “I was dumped for her?” But there wasn’t any “dumping” because there wasn’t a serious relationship to begin with. There was sex. Damn good sex.
An ex suggested that when pursuing new relationships, I give it up too quickly. He said I should wait and I laughed when he said guys would wait months to get anywhere with a girl they were dating. “Not the guys I date.” I thought. I’m sure he thought “Exactly.”
So I’m supposed to hold out to create this emotional before physical bond? I’m a pretty smart girl and I can multi-task. I can have sex and care about a person! I can see what the ex said being true but I will probably never find out his way. I like sex. I don’t want to wait months before having sex with someone I’m dating. When I start dating someone, I think “Yay, regular sex!”
I’ve read studies on college kids and their tendencies to “hook up” more than date. When these studies are published in women’s magazines, there’s always some bitch saying “Oh these poor girls will never know emotional intimacy.” Hook ups can lead to relationships and relationships to emotional intimacy. Maybe the bitches in the magazines are really saying “sluts don’t get love”. Girls that like sex are not the girls you marry but they are the ones you fantasize about when you’re in having sex with your boring wife. The one you started dating after you dumped the slut.
So why is sex equated with lack commitment? Does it go back to good girls don’t give it up? Sometimes I’ve been told that guys can’t “handle me”. I am an intense person but easily manageable if you can stand up to me. So are men are not confident enough to handle sluts?