I love hearing the CEO of my agency talk to outsiders about the agency. It’s like listening to a preacher tell you the glories of the social work. Just like some preachers in current news, sometimes he slips up and says something truly WTF. He was telling a group of European counselors about the agency and he said “West Siiiide!” You know what I mean. Like he suddenly slipped from preacher mode to gangsta mode. Actually, he said it more than once. On purpose. I’m sure these counselors had no idea why he was talking like that, why the West Side is the best side or why these silly Americans are ethnocentric to think that a group of professional older Europeans would have any knowledge of West Siiide life.

Other fun things: we have a transgender client and I have been called upon to educate the management team. I volunteered myself for this task because I couldn’t handle the pronoun switching and the upset over which bathroom she would use. I guess it is pretty naive just to think that since we are an urban, non-faith based social service agency, that we would be able to handle a trans client. I have a lot of work to do. Every time someone uses the wrong pronoun or switches pronouns, I cringe and I am on the verge of developing a facial tic.

I burninated at Pitchfork on Sunday but it was well worth the redness. I had no idea there was a nice big park next to Cobra Lounge. I feel bad for the neighbors since one of the stages was right against someone’s backyard and I don’t think that neighborhood is too big on the indie rock. I saw Apples in Stereo, Les Savy Fav, Ghostface and Raekwon and a little of M. Ward. The rest of the time was spent wandering flatstock (gig poster sale) or sleeping under a tree. It was like the sun was sucking energy out of me.
Les Savy Fav was by far the most entertaining act. The singer had multiple costumes, threw a wireless web cam into the audience and displayed the bouncy results on the big screen, ran off stage briefly to reappear in a garbage can and told us stories about the Native American burial ground the park was built on. There was also music playing.
Ghostface and Raekwon were great but the crowd was annoying me. As you can guess the crowd was largely white hipsters. So hearing some guy with mismatched socks going “word,yo” in a not so subtle ironic way is annoying after the 10th time. Hearing some kid behind me explain to his friend that “these guys used to be in Wu Tang” just made me feel old. And wtf was with putting them on the small stage? It was packed which just added to my annoyance.

I just noticed the candy I’m eating says it has a bat signal in it and I didn’t see a bat signal. I may have ate the bat signal.

I saw Dark Knight on Monday. Wasn’t there a TV show called Dark Knight? I remember it being Canadian and the main character’s last name was Knight and there were vampires. If it wasn’t so late I would call my parents because I know they watched this damn show and IMDB is telling me its some medieval sci-fi show.

So the movie was awesome. But since everyone’s jerking off over this movie, I have to offer a few criticisms.
The movie was PG-13, why couldn’t Maggie Gyllenhaal’s breasts make an appearance?
Was Aaron Eckhart cast because they couldn’t get Denis Leary? Twinsies!
Where was the big flaming Batman logo?
And that’s all I can say without giving away parts of the movie.

The bacon chocolate chip cookies were a success!
The texture was kind of off when they were still warm but the next day when the cookie hardened a little it was better. Tiny pieces of bacon work best, bits not pieces. I had to experiment with the thickness of the maple glaze. It looked thick enough until I put it on the cookies and it spilled all over.

I took some cookies to a potluck last night and warned everyone of the cookie contents so I wouldn’t have any angry vegetarians. This led to everyone asking me about the cookies, where I found the recipe (roommate/Internets) and why the hell I would want to make such a cookie (why not?) so much of my evening was dominated by cookie talk. I’m building quite a reputation in this group. I brought Krispy Kreme bread pudding to the last potluck. There is a block party coming up and I think it’s time to make meatloaf cupcakes.

I finally showed my parents my newest tattoo. My mom kept asking why it has to be so big and took a picture of it to send to my grandma. She tried to pull the “but what about work?” question but I pointed out I can’t wear tank tops to work so no one will see it!
My family gobbled up the cookies, too. Later she poked my abdomen and suggested I get a girdle. When I came home, control top panties were in my laundry bag. Thanks mom!

I went to Buddhism class tonight and there was no teacher. Was this a lesson in self sufficiency? My classmate and I snooped through the temple office and found our teacher’s number. We were concerned since he is in his 80’s and drives from the suburbs to teach. His wife answered and cheerily handed the phone off to our teacher. It was his birthday yesterday and he had forgot..or was running late..or was celebrating. My theory is that he was drunk. I like my theory because I like the idea of an 80+ guy rockin out for his birthday and I like the idea that I can drink and still follow Buddha.

So that wasted about an hour but gave me a little more time to make cookies. I keep forgetting to photograph my cookie making but this one would have really done better with scratch n sniff than pictures. I’m making bacon chocolate chip cookies with maple glaze I had to run to the store to get more bacon because I underestimated the amount of bacon this recipe calls for. After I dumped in my mounds of bacon bits, it looked like too much. But who knows, the dough tastes pretty good even though its hard to get the bacon and chocolate flavor with uncooked dough.

The dough is chilling in the fridge right now and then will get cooked tonight and the glaze will have to wait until tomorrow probably. I’m not sure how all of this will work since my kitchen is super hot and the glaze probably won’t harden.
I will let you know how it turns out.

Co-ed Prison Sluts is back at the (new location of the) Annoyance Theatre! The web site said it last ran in 2000 which makes me feel old and surprised that I can still remember he lyrics the classic song “Shit, Motherfucker.”
(I’m going to get great hits/spam comments from this post!)
This weekend is sold out but I want to go soon!

I went back to acupuncture today after work. Acupuncturist remembered me, we chatted about boxing and my life while she poked me. She asked about my ex who I dragged to acupuncture a couple times. She poked a couple new places, make me wonder what new things I told her this time. Or maybe just how I presented- stressed from work, feeling slightly defeated because I am back at acupuncture again and can’t go more than a few months without it before my sleep is completely destroyed. But it was nice to return. I just enjoyed the buzz for a little while and developed a slight crush on the boy sitting next to me when he would occasionally snort or twitch during his needle induced nap. My body always wakes me up just short of an hour. Wake up, needles out, see ya next week.

This whole patriotism thing can suck me but I was loving the backyard fireworks this weekend. I stayed out late Thursday and Friday so instead of cursing the 2am fireworks in the alley, I was on my back porch watching them. Due to a technical failure (listening to a boy) I could barely see the city’s fireworks show on the 3rd. North Ave beach may be crowded on the 3rd but there are a bunch of goddamn buildings in the way between you and the fireworks. A ton of other people didn’t seem to know this either so I don’t feel too stupid.

Boxing boot camp is almost finished so I need something new to keep me active. Jabb boxing gym has similar classes that I might go to. I like boxing but I really want to run away and join the circus. OK, it’s not quite that kind of trapeze training but it’s still trapeze! My upper body strength has got slightly less sad since starting boxing but it’s still pretty pathetic. I’m hoping the aerial training class will help me work toward the awesome back I want. (Awesome back=showing off tattoos)

I didn’t do a pictorial like I usually do with new recipes but I made some really good granola just now. I’m taking spoonfuls while waiting for it to cool. I’m concerned how its going to clump when it cools. I used my friend’s family farm honey and expensive Irish oats that come in a tin. I didn’t use the wheat germ suggested in the recipe and my fruit is raisins, dried cranberries and dried cherries.

(Answer to the title is Yes. And there is a 5th,6th and 7th of July, too. Haha! Egocentric Americans!)