Maybe I should dress like an insect every day.
I went to the work dressed as a “worker bee.” Black dress, striped tights, yellow wing (that light up!) and antenna. My coworkers loved it. I just wish some of them dressed up too. It was just me and a few clients dressed up.
Went home, got some cheap bike head light/tail lights at KMart. Take that Target and Sports Authority who had sets for twice as much!
Then I switched from my dress to some black shorts and long sleeve shirt and bloodied myself and my bee costume up. Zom-bee! Sticky coagulated blood for my face and drippy blood for the bee costume. And a little bit of blood for the floor, the sink, my shirt, my hands…um, everything.
Then I dragged my new (to me) bike out of the basement, decided to take side streets because I’ve never rode on a city street before and zoom! I was off. Slowly. So slowly. Oh god, why does this take so much effort to get not far? Why can’t I coast? I was sweating and half dead by the time I got to the roommate’s boy’s house. Roommate looked at my bike and pointed out that I was in the wrong gear. I thought
1=easy. Guess not. Also the guy that sold me the bike called it a hybrid but roommate thinks it looks more like a mountain bike.
I wanted to flop on the couch and sleep but it was time for My First Critical Mass! So we rode downtown in all of our zombie, bloody, whitefaced awesomeness. I really struggled with the hills. Yes, Chicago has hills. Small ones but my thighs really felt them when I was barely able to keep up on flat surfaces.
We got to Daley Plaza and it was filled with costumed riders of every sort and a few parents and kids trick or treating. I gave candy to kids, took a few pics and drank a lot of water. Then remembered I didn’t have a chance to eat dinner, maybe that was why I was feeling weak? No, I’m just out of shape.
So we rode through downtown very slowly which I didn’t mind at all since I was exhausted. We waved at people and the traffic cops made sure no one tried to run us over. We get out of downtown and it seems like a parade. The entire street is ours and people are coming out of their houses and businesses to wave and cheer at us. Ya, some people came out of their cars to swear at us but being toward the back of the mass, I expected to see a lot more anger. I read today that mass was estimated 2,000 people.
Then things got very slow and weird. We were close to the highway, on some small road near a bunch of warehouses. There was an ambulance that needed to cut through so we got separated from the rest of the mass. It was so slow that I got off my bike and walked it for a bit because it was impossible to ride that slow with so many people around. After all the slow down, we went back on big streets. I’m not sure why that route was chosen but when riding from Milwaukee & Halsted to Milwaukee & Ashland, why not just take…Milwaukee! Instead of whatever fucked up little streets we were going down. By the time we got to Wicker Park, we were separated from the rest of the group by a noticable amount. Streets were no longer being corked, more cops were seen arresting people than riding with us. I was exhausted and my roommate and her boy were disappointed that the mass got split up so we stopped to get food.
I heard from another friend that did the mass. He was near the very front and didn’t have as many problems. So it wasn’t that we were recklessly heading into trouble, trouble just found us somewhere along the way. With a group that large, I can understand it.
I was so sore that I took the bus home. My ass, knee and elbow still hurt. I’m going to try to ride the roommate’s bike to see if hers is better because I’m still not sure if I was so exhausted because I haven’t rode in forever or if it’s my bike’s fault. I would like to blame my bike because it’s easier getting a new bike than getting sexy new legs. I’m hoping the weather stays nice for a little while longer so I can get some riding in before winter. I know it’s crazy to expect the weather to be nice at the end of November but if by some crazy chance it is, maybe I will do the Nov Mass.