I got out of work early today because of the snow. I like that the execs live in the suburbs. Whenever there is bad weather, they will let us go early because they want to leave, too. The snow is still in that pretty stage that makes me want to take pictures of it and push people in it. There’s an empty lot next to my workplace that I need to take pictures of. It looks deceivingly pretty under the snow but a good angle could capture the sadness of the neighborhood and empty warehouse next to it.

All of my clients cancelled for tonight and I’m not calling any of them until tomorrow. I feel like I’ve successfully engaged my clients and I can see progress but I still get lazy when it’s time to actually go to the counseling center. I don’t know if it’s still anxiety or if it’s just that this is adding to my work week and stress.

My recovery since my last post has been pretty good. The big release of all of my anxiety and feeling of Rightness in the World didn’t happen. Kind of disappointed. The swelling in my belly button has gone down enough that real pants don’t bother me.  I returned to work today.  I just happened to miss Xmas paper door decorating at work! Oh well, I guess they will have to skip me.

Free at last from the tethers of my ovaries!

I will write  about the hospital aspect but don’t worry, it’s not gross. There were very few gross parts overall.

I got to the hospital around 6am and did the normal check in and gown up stuff. I had 4 different doctors and assistants talk to me about the surgery and anesthetic. One assistant put in an IV (she shot me with a little pain killer first, why couldn’t they have done that when I was a child terrified on needles?) and gave me a little sedation.  I like how all the anesthesia people refer to the mild sedation as martinis and discuss types of martinis with their patients. One nurse said (about her martini of choice) “I’m a dirty girl! uh…dirty person. Uh, I like dirty martinis.”

So my martinis weren’t doing much when they wheeled me to the operating room. I didn’t have much time to be nervous because a few minutes after they got me on the table, the doctor gave me more sedation, an oxygen mask was placed over my face and I was out.  They gave me general anesthetic which is tube in the throat, completely knocked out type.

So I wake up in the recovery room with a scratchy throat from being intubated. The light seemed really bright and I didn’t want to open my eyes all of the way.  Once I did open my eyes, I had a nurse talking to me, asking how I was, explaining what was going on. Then  I went to the post-op room where I could sit up, eat some graham crackers and juice and get dressed.  It was hard to judge the amount of time I was in each area but I know that the procedure got done around 9am and left the hospital around noon.

I slept a lot this weekend, ate a few pills and watched movies. I had my parents and an attentive boy take care of me and lots of friends texting to make sure I’m good. I felt good enough yesterday that I could go out shopping and make food. I took off my bandaids (yes, I just went home with bandaids) and I just have two tiny incisions, one in my belly button and one a little lower. I see my doctor in 2 weeks for a check in and no dirty things for 2 weeks.

I know sometimes I can be a control freak but I don’t think this is one of my grasps at too much control. I think this is a control I needed over my own body and I’m happy I could finally find a doctor who agreed.

I can’t sleep, probably because of the impending slicing and cauterizing. I’m happy I have acupuncture tomorrow. That should help me relax a little.  This whole week has been stressful at work. I should have seen it coming, trying to balance 3 grant applications due within the next 2 months.

The one that is the hardest is of course not even a research grant. It’s a pain in the ass because it involves researching job training programs in an industry I know nothing about and the two people I’m working with are not at all organized. Over the past week, they have told me that I’m in charge of the grant (I’m not, I don’t know where they got this from), been asked questions that I have directly answered in emails, and after an afternoon meeting, I get a call the next morning asking if I’ve done my follow-up tasks already. I know this chick tries to be a suck up and texts the execs at 7am every morning with the agency’s financial updates but I am not researching this stuff at home. I will do it at work and have it ready by the time of the next meeting. Which is tomorrow, yay. And my cool intern is leaving this week and next month she will be replaced by a lame intern that smells like smoke.

My research grants are coming together a little better but I’m concerned we won’t have them done in time because my boss will be out right before one is due. The logical person would say “Just finish the proposal before she leaves.” But the logical person does not work at my agency.

So I’ve been stressed and bitchy but I have done some fun things this week. I saw a burlesque version of the Nutcracker. It was all sexy like and we had good seats and there were trapeze burlesque girls! Yay for pasties and swinging from silks.

My grandma gave me her Roomba (or knockoff version of a Roomba) because she says it scares the dog. I think she is just terrified of technology. That will help with what feels like neverending cleaning. How does a small apartment get dirty so fast?

And what the hell is with this new WordPress  interface? I know you can’t see it unless you also have a WordPress blog but it sucks!

I’m avoiding doing the dishes because it’s soo cold in my apartment. I don’t want to leave my room. So I will make a quick post about what I forgot to mention last week.

I’m getting my tubes tied!

I know I’ve been talking about it for a while but now it’s actually scheduled. I talked to my doctor, did my pre-op bloodwork and have an appointment for next week. I will only be in the hospital for a few hours which surprised me. I thought they would keep me most of the day but I guess not. I called my insurance and they cover everything. I have a lovely boy that is escorting me to and from the hospital. I’m recovering at my parent’s house so I don’t have to climb stairs. My mom already wants to know what I want to eat when I’m not even sure how I will be feeling.
I told my boss because I asked for time off and I’m close enough to her to tell her what’s going on. Her reaction was “Really? Really? Well, as long as you’re happy.” I told her yes, I am happy as you can be about a surgical procedure. I am nervous about the whole hospital part. I’ve woke up in hospitals completely fine and woke up in complete, shaking pain. This procedure is quick and minimally invasive so I’m hoping for good things.
I’ve told friends, they are supportive or at least to my face they are. A couple have asked if I am freezing eggs. No, I’m not. I have no desire to pass on my defective genes and the whole point of this is because I don’t want babies!
I want to have a no-baby shower when I am all healed. I told my friends it will be like a baby shower, except fun. And I have been sure to point out to my breeder friends that this isn’t about bashing moms, it’s about celebrating choice!