I haven’t rode my bike much since Halloween and I still hurt. Specifically, my tailbone hurts and I’m pretty sure I badly angered or bruised it. I sat on a hard chair for a while on Saturday and it’s been killing me since. I almost told my boss today but there’s no good way to say “by the way boss, my ass is killing me!” I asked the internet and it said that doctors don’t do a lot for broken coccyx. Pain meds and baths and a few days of rest. Pain meds would be nice but I like things like driving and not wasting vacation time better. So I suck it up, do some stretches my roommate showed me and whimper when I stand.

Clinical stuff-my sessions with my clients were pretty good and I think I’ve engaged them enough that they won’t bail. I start a new client next week so I will be back up to 3.

Parts and stuff- I saw my girly doctor today and insurance rules have changed since last year. I can get my tubes tied at the hospital’s outpatient clinic which makes me much more confident in the whole not dying thing. I might be able to schedule in a few weeks. I’ve even told my mom about it since I’m doubting my ability to walk up flights of stairs to my apartment after surgery. Staying at home to recover will make my mom feel nice and…motherly.
My dad suggested my mom email me instead of call because I don’t like the phone. Her first email was all in caps and a big run on sentence. I emailed her about the tube tying and she called me to respond. Almost got it.

I went out with the ladies tonight. It was nice, not too mommy focused, a lot of discussion about the election and politics. There was one other non-mommy there, making it split between moms/non-moms even for some of the night. I think the trick is just to not be the only non-mom. Don’t go to the playroom. Go to bars.

Also, I want to live in a warehouse with a rooftop garden and bands play in my basement and I make spray paint and gravel mandalas in my barren front yard.

Go see Wall-E. It’s the cutest damn movie I’ve seen in a long time. It’s not cute but vapid like a cheerleader it’s more cute and thoughtful like a Hallmark card on your mom’s birthday. It has a green message but I don’t think it overpowers the story. And is it really about Mac and Windows? I don’t know.

I went to a family member’s girlfriend’s baby shower today and it was pretty awful. My family was surprisingly not embarrassing but the girlfriend’s family was a big mess. It was just a bad mix of getting knocked up young, disapproving family, alcohol, big fat asses, uncontrolled children and general suburban suck. Makes my fallopian tubes curl up and try to tie themselves.

I met up with a few high school friends today. We all volunteered at the same place in jr. high/high school and were a tight knit group of nerds for many awkward years. We all went our seperate ways after high school and I slowly lost contact with almost everyone. Around the time of my high school reunion I started thinking about having a reunion with people that I actually liked. Using my internet detective skills, I found some people online and today got some more names to hunt down. If I find more people,I’m thinking of planning a night out later in the summer.

Last night I went through my box o’ memories in the closet looking for pictures to bring. This box contains pictures, my short stories, notes written during class, old school assignments, cards, love notes, autographs, tickets stubs from concerts…a lot of dangerous emotional ammo. I also have a box like this of clothing. It’s full of school/class shirts, jerseys, brands/styles that were very in at one time but are now so out and my first (fake) leather skirt. Hipsters would love that box.

I found some pictures but got a few minor wounds along the way. Pictures of a deceased friend, cards from an ex, a packet of info about applying to grad school back when I thought grad school would be the key to my perfect career. I don’t even have to read or look at these things too hard and they start to hurt. I’m purging a lot of stuff from my apartment but these things will always have a spot tucked away in my closet.

I’m going to the parent’s tomorrow for Easter. I don’t actually celebrate the holiday but I do like food. I’m being nice this year which means no blood of christ filled communion cake and no burning cross cake.

I am bring my Xmas tree butter in case my aunt that brought lamb butter to Thanksgiving last year comes to dinner. I will warn people not to eat it since it has been in my freezer for a couple years (at least). It keeps my lamb butter company!

Since I am trying to lose weight I offered to make a low fat dessert. I was thinking a fruit tart but I know how my family rolls. Chocolate, icing, pie..fruit wouldn’t go over well unless it was covered in sugar. So I found an awesome recipe for mini chocolate cupcakes. I just baked my first batch and they are really good and only 177 calories per serving (3 mini cupcakes). They are kind of expensive to make because unsweetened Dutch processed cocoa powder is $8 a box. I probably could have substituted something cheaper but I’m not even sure what Dutch processed is and the first time I make a recipe I look to do it by the book then improvise later.

I also found an interesting recipe called Cherries in snow. It’s milk gelatin covered in a cherry/port mixture. It looks good but I am not sure my family would agree. I am going to make it anyway but I have the cupcakes as a sure winner and the gelatin as something to chase them around the kitchen with yelling “just try it!”

It was insanely cold today, I think my eyeballs were freezing as soon as I stepped outside so I didn’t go to the Lunar New Year parade in Chinatown. Luckily, Chicago being the wonderful city it is, there are 2 parades!  The parade in Uptown is smaller than the one in Chinatown but so much  fun. We were there for the parade kick-off so I stood way too close to a row of firecrackers and kids were standing on a float to get a better view of the dancing dragons (and an early start on hearing damage). The dancing dragons were a couple people long but there was a small hand held dragon that about 8 people held up on a stick. They were supposed to spin and weave the body of the dragon around itself but some of the dragon holders were a bit confused and the dragon leader alternated between yelling at the people behind him and smiling for the crowd. We got some yummy Vietnamese food afterward and saw the dragon again. I want a dragon.

My mom was sad that it was too cold to go to the parade today so I brought some pastries from Chinatown to my parents and we ate bad suburban Chinese food.

While we were out picking up the food she told me that she had been talking with my dad about my desire to get my tubes tied. She said “as much as we would love to see you walk down the aisle or see you pregnant, your health is most important and getting pregnant isn’t worth the risk.”

Yes, exactly. Well, kind of. Hidden in that reassurance is  “We don’t think you’re going to get married because you’re not having babies.” Mom, I have so much to teach you! She will be the first to get a copy of my yet to be written book.

Today I climbed a ladder in the rain while wearing heels, started to take apart a computer without unplugging it and smashed my back against an open drawer. I am all around safety queen.

It’s December so that means working at my dad’s store on the weekends (and usually depression. Hmm, I wonder if the two are related). To add to the chaos this year, he moved his store last month. So we are unpacking, fixing up a new store, decorating it for X-mas and preparing for general craziness.

I can’t really update, my hand is killing me, my old bones.

Today was pretty damn girly.

I went clothes shopping. I didn’t get what I wanted, which is a shiny shirt for holiday parties but I got other stuff.

Then I went to Ulta and sprayed myself with too many Demeter fragrances so I smelled like a Sugar and Spice Laundry Mojito. I’m not a perfume type girl but I love me some Demeter.

My trip to Ulta was not to play with scents, it was to get hair dye. I love having red hair or red highlights but they fade out so quick that it’s not worth getting them done professionally. So I tried the at home all over color/highlight kit and it didn’t turn out too bad. There’s one section of highlights that is way too light but its under my top layer of hair so I’m not concerned.

And tomorrow I’m going to Macy’s with the parents and they have a Lush boutique in the store so more girly-ness!

Thanksgiving was not too eventful. My aunt brought lamb butter. She claimed she thought it was turkey butter but no, that’s definitely a lamb and this has definitely been sitting in your freezer since Easter. So I did the only thing you can do with months old lamb butter. I decapitated it during prayer.

I wrote in the last post about my dog Zoe getting hurt. She needed to be sedated for xrays so she had her neck xrays today. Nothing broken or dislocated. It looks like the fight aggravated her already present arthritis in her neck. We knew she has mild arthritis in her hips, it’s something common with her breed. She is on steroids and pain meds for the next couple weeks. Then the doctor was talking about MRI, operations- things I doubt my parents will do. I don’t blame them, she is 11 years old, in good condition now but who knows how well she can handle multiple sedations and surgeries. If she can live well by just taking an anti-inflammatory then we will do that.

And the owners of the dog hit by a car emailed me, they have been reunited with their dog and are very happy and grateful.

I got my business cards! I am very excited at my pseudo-professionalism. Add bus card holder to the list of things my little brother is going to engrave for me.

I went to a painting party at a friend’s new house yesterday. It’s a dirty trick to call an event like that a party but I was on to their games. So I helped paint friend’s living room blood red (sorry, terra cotta red) and since she is one of my old coworkers from the vet clinic, the day wouldn’t be complete without a bleeding animals. She already had a puppy she was fostering in her backyard. The owners couldn’t treat it and it was being signed over to a rescue.

Then in her moving earlier in the day, she saw a bunch of people standing around a bloody mess of a dog that was victim of a hit and run. So she took it to the vet and when I came over we brought it back to her house for overnight care. I posted about it on CraigsList and she posted a sign at the accident site but so far no responses. So if anyone wants a Jack Russell terrier with a fucked up face, let me know. Unfortunately, no one that saw the accident got a license plate number. I’d like to fuck up that person’s face a bit.

Edit: I should just add this here since I was already talking about dogs. I went to visit my parents tonight and usually my dog Zoe greets me at the door and as excited, semi-retarded dogs do, she pees. So I try to greet her outside or tell her to go outside as I come in. And that’s what I did today. But I got distracted by a conversation with my dad and forgot to let the dog back in. A few minutes later my dad asks where the dog is and runs outside because he hears growling. A neighbor was walking her dog and the dogs started fighting. (Parents’ front yard is not fenced) The woman walking her dog was crying and her dog had a puncture wound on it’s back. We took Zoe inside and the woman took her dog to the vet. I looked Zoe over, she had saliva on her neck so she was bitten but no puncture wounds.
Later the woman came back, said her dog is OK, just the one puncture wound. My parents paid her vet bill, my dad felt horrible about forgetting the dog outside even though it was really me who forgot the dog. Later, I was petting Zoe and she screamed when I touched her neck. She cried when she got up a few times so no puncture wounds but the other dog definitely hurt something in her neck so she’s off to the vet tomorrow. Poor dog, victim of my bad memory :(

My cousin from Alabama and 2 of his coworkers are staying with my older brother while working in Illinois for a few weeks. My cousin does some union, manual labor type job and according to my mom, drinks a lot. These two things seem to go hand in hand.

So last night cousin and his coworkers go out drinking. Cousin and 1 coworker lose 2nd coworker sometime after midnight. They figure he picked up a girl and leave for my brother’s house. Around 3am, everyone goes to sleep and my brother locks the front door. At 6am, there is a knock at the door. The police are standing outside with the 2nd coworker. A neighbor saw the coworker in my brother’s driveway and called the police. My brother says it’s OK, he knows him and tells him to go inside. The cops say “I don’t know if you want him inside, he’s covered in shit”

The neighbors called the cops because he was trying to use my brother’s driveway as  a toilet. My brother tells the guy to get cleaned up and the police leave, not even bothering to wait until my brother closes the door to start laughing.

Later in the day, the coworker remembers nothing of the  incident. He says he came back and the door was locked so he went to sleep in his truck.  He was still hiding out in the basement when I came over for dinner.

I can’t wait to go to Alabama!