I had a no-baby shower last weekend. I think it was the best shower I’ve been to. Drinking, cheese filled foods, cupcakes, a fish hat and lots of friends and some family. I got some baby showed decs from the party store and tacked NO onto them but apparently it wasn’t clear enough what we were celebrating because the people at a table near us asked if I had a boy or girl. At least they were nice enough to assume I already had the baby if I was drinking. A little vodka in the breast milk is good for baby!
I registered as a not-the-mama-to-be and got some awesome gifts. My grandma took the opportunity to ship me half of her kitchen. I think she is afraid she will never see me or my female cousin get married and she doesn’t know what to do with all of these kitchen things.

Work has been fucking depressing. We have more budget troubles and we did not apply for either of the research grants I was working on. One of the grants would have been a revival of a project we worked on with a local university. For some reason, no one decided to ask the professors at the university if they were also applying until the day before the grant was due. Surprise, they were and they were upset that we didn’t tell them we were applying, too. Maybe if we had called earlier, we could have collaborated again and submitted the damn app.
So now the next round of applications aren’t due until early summer and I keep telling my boss “we have to start early” and she keeps..doing nothing. This is something she really has to start because it’s a collaborative grant and she has to initiate the collaboration because no one knows little research assistant girl!

I e-attended a NASW CEU presentation. I’m happy that they have developed this in person/online CEU workshop series. They’re not terribly expensive and they have a good range of topics. They still have some kinks to work out. The sound went out on the presentation for a while and the mic didn’t pick up questions the audience asked. The presentation was on holistic therapy which sounds good but it was a little too new age for me. Past life regression? Really? So much for evidence based practice! I was hoping for a little more accessible topics, not some woman selling her book.

Also, I am adoring Amanda Palmer’s post on her song Oasis. I think we need more upbeat songs about abortion. Let’s dance.

Free at last from the tethers of my ovaries!

I will write  about the hospital aspect but don’t worry, it’s not gross. There were very few gross parts overall.

I got to the hospital around 6am and did the normal check in and gown up stuff. I had 4 different doctors and assistants talk to me about the surgery and anesthetic. One assistant put in an IV (she shot me with a little pain killer first, why couldn’t they have done that when I was a child terrified on needles?) and gave me a little sedation.  I like how all the anesthesia people refer to the mild sedation as martinis and discuss types of martinis with their patients. One nurse said (about her martini of choice) “I’m a dirty girl! uh…dirty person. Uh, I like dirty martinis.”

So my martinis weren’t doing much when they wheeled me to the operating room. I didn’t have much time to be nervous because a few minutes after they got me on the table, the doctor gave me more sedation, an oxygen mask was placed over my face and I was out.  They gave me general anesthetic which is tube in the throat, completely knocked out type.

So I wake up in the recovery room with a scratchy throat from being intubated. The light seemed really bright and I didn’t want to open my eyes all of the way.  Once I did open my eyes, I had a nurse talking to me, asking how I was, explaining what was going on. Then  I went to the post-op room where I could sit up, eat some graham crackers and juice and get dressed.  It was hard to judge the amount of time I was in each area but I know that the procedure got done around 9am and left the hospital around noon.

I slept a lot this weekend, ate a few pills and watched movies. I had my parents and an attentive boy take care of me and lots of friends texting to make sure I’m good. I felt good enough yesterday that I could go out shopping and make food. I took off my bandaids (yes, I just went home with bandaids) and I just have two tiny incisions, one in my belly button and one a little lower. I see my doctor in 2 weeks for a check in and no dirty things for 2 weeks.

I know sometimes I can be a control freak but I don’t think this is one of my grasps at too much control. I think this is a control I needed over my own body and I’m happy I could finally find a doctor who agreed.

I can’t sleep, probably because of the impending slicing and cauterizing. I’m happy I have acupuncture tomorrow. That should help me relax a little.  This whole week has been stressful at work. I should have seen it coming, trying to balance 3 grant applications due within the next 2 months.

The one that is the hardest is of course not even a research grant. It’s a pain in the ass because it involves researching job training programs in an industry I know nothing about and the two people I’m working with are not at all organized. Over the past week, they have told me that I’m in charge of the grant (I’m not, I don’t know where they got this from), been asked questions that I have directly answered in emails, and after an afternoon meeting, I get a call the next morning asking if I’ve done my follow-up tasks already. I know this chick tries to be a suck up and texts the execs at 7am every morning with the agency’s financial updates but I am not researching this stuff at home. I will do it at work and have it ready by the time of the next meeting. Which is tomorrow, yay. And my cool intern is leaving this week and next month she will be replaced by a lame intern that smells like smoke.

My research grants are coming together a little better but I’m concerned we won’t have them done in time because my boss will be out right before one is due. The logical person would say “Just finish the proposal before she leaves.” But the logical person does not work at my agency.

So I’ve been stressed and bitchy but I have done some fun things this week. I saw a burlesque version of the Nutcracker. It was all sexy like and we had good seats and there were trapeze burlesque girls! Yay for pasties and swinging from silks.

My grandma gave me her Roomba (or knockoff version of a Roomba) because she says it scares the dog. I think she is just terrified of technology. That will help with what feels like neverending cleaning. How does a small apartment get dirty so fast?

And what the hell is with this new WordPress  interface? I know you can’t see it unless you also have a WordPress blog but it sucks!

I’m avoiding doing the dishes because it’s soo cold in my apartment. I don’t want to leave my room. So I will make a quick post about what I forgot to mention last week.

I’m getting my tubes tied!

I know I’ve been talking about it for a while but now it’s actually scheduled. I talked to my doctor, did my pre-op bloodwork and have an appointment for next week. I will only be in the hospital for a few hours which surprised me. I thought they would keep me most of the day but I guess not. I called my insurance and they cover everything. I have a lovely boy that is escorting me to and from the hospital. I’m recovering at my parent’s house so I don’t have to climb stairs. My mom already wants to know what I want to eat when I’m not even sure how I will be feeling.
I told my boss because I asked for time off and I’m close enough to her to tell her what’s going on. Her reaction was “Really? Really? Well, as long as you’re happy.” I told her yes, I am happy as you can be about a surgical procedure. I am nervous about the whole hospital part. I’ve woke up in hospitals completely fine and woke up in complete, shaking pain. This procedure is quick and minimally invasive so I’m hoping for good things.
I’ve told friends, they are supportive or at least to my face they are. A couple have asked if I am freezing eggs. No, I’m not. I have no desire to pass on my defective genes and the whole point of this is because I don’t want babies!
I want to have a no-baby shower when I am all healed. I told my friends it will be like a baby shower, except fun. And I have been sure to point out to my breeder friends that this isn’t about bashing moms, it’s about celebrating choice!

I haven’t rode my bike much since Halloween and I still hurt. Specifically, my tailbone hurts and I’m pretty sure I badly angered or bruised it. I sat on a hard chair for a while on Saturday and it’s been killing me since. I almost told my boss today but there’s no good way to say “by the way boss, my ass is killing me!” I asked the internet and it said that doctors don’t do a lot for broken coccyx. Pain meds and baths and a few days of rest. Pain meds would be nice but I like things like driving and not wasting vacation time better. So I suck it up, do some stretches my roommate showed me and whimper when I stand.

Clinical stuff-my sessions with my clients were pretty good and I think I’ve engaged them enough that they won’t bail. I start a new client next week so I will be back up to 3.

Parts and stuff- I saw my girly doctor today and insurance rules have changed since last year. I can get my tubes tied at the hospital’s outpatient clinic which makes me much more confident in the whole not dying thing. I might be able to schedule in a few weeks. I’ve even told my mom about it since I’m doubting my ability to walk up flights of stairs to my apartment after surgery. Staying at home to recover will make my mom feel nice and…motherly.
My dad suggested my mom email me instead of call because I don’t like the phone. Her first email was all in caps and a big run on sentence. I emailed her about the tube tying and she called me to respond. Almost got it.

I went out with the ladies tonight. It was nice, not too mommy focused, a lot of discussion about the election and politics. There was one other non-mommy there, making it split between moms/non-moms even for some of the night. I think the trick is just to not be the only non-mom. Don’t go to the playroom. Go to bars.

Also, I want to live in a warehouse with a rooftop garden and bands play in my basement and I make spray paint and gravel mandalas in my barren front yard.

I got blood draw this morning to make sure I don’t have a bunch of painful diseases. 5 tubes! I’m not sure if I have any blood left. I got lucky with a skilled phlebotomist that didn’t have to go poking around. I can tell if they are good by their stick and aftercare. You do not bend your arm up after a blood draw! I don’t know how many years I was told to do that and would end up with massive bruising. Keep your arm straight and apply pressure. So I thought I would get lucky when I peeked under my bandaid and didn’t see a bruise. I pulled the bandaid off and it really pulled the inner elbow skin up when coming off. So now I have a tiny mark near the needle hole and a big bruise where the bandaid was. I can’t win.

I felt very knowledgeable at work today. I emailed the NIH contacts on the research program announcement my agency might submit an application for. The CEO wants to use this as a chance to revive an old HIV prevention program. I’m not so sure HIV prevention is what NIH is looking for with this program. Being sponsored by two different centers having to do with alcohol abuse kind of leads me to believe they want it to be a “Drinking is bad, kids!” program. Rather than be snotty about it, I took the learnin I gained at the research conference I attended and emailed the contacts listed to ask them. I hope I am right so I can go all RTFM on the CEO.

And now it is time for baking!

I went back to acupuncture today after work. Acupuncturist remembered me, we chatted about boxing and my life while she poked me. She asked about my ex who I dragged to acupuncture a couple times. She poked a couple new places, make me wonder what new things I told her this time. Or maybe just how I presented- stressed from work, feeling slightly defeated because I am back at acupuncture again and can’t go more than a few months without it before my sleep is completely destroyed. But it was nice to return. I just enjoyed the buzz for a little while and developed a slight crush on the boy sitting next to me when he would occasionally snort or twitch during his needle induced nap. My body always wakes me up just short of an hour. Wake up, needles out, see ya next week.

This blog post reminds me of my standard description of an ICD shocking my lifeless body after some sort of horrific accident (usually punctuated by slamming my fist into my hand). Turns out I am right!

ICD’s are hackable!
Researchers hacked an ICD (Implantable Cardiac Defibrillator) using a computer and a software radio. The researchers were able to get patient data, settings and change settings causing the ICD to deliver a shock. Link to the full IEEE research article is in the linked article.

What is the first thing you think about when you set up a wireless network?  “Do I want to let my neighbors access my network?”

Depending on your level of geek, illegal porn downloading and sense of community, you set your security level. So where was Medtronic’s security level? At the “what is the internet?” level?

My parade plans were almost thwarted by the time change and a cell phone that was slow to change but I made it out to the South side to celebrate being a dirty Mc.

I went to a party at high school friend’s mom’s house. Nothing makes you feel old like seeing little brothers all growed up. Then I went to my parent’s house where I ruined my diet with corned beef and “just a tiny slice” of cake. No wonder my family has trouble losing weight.

And look at this article. “A vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows.”

I totally knew about this from a Cafe Science talk. Unfortunately, it looks like I didn’t blog about the talk but the professor said that the estrogen in the water supply from birth control pills will eventually decrease penis size. We must do something about this now!