Have you ever looked at YouTube comments? I’m on SomethingAwful and I still think YouTube comments are horrible. My favorite interactions are like this one:
AmbiguousUsername: Zach Braff is dreamy!
TotalDude95858: fag!!!!!!!!!
AmbiguousUsername: What?? I’m a girl!

No girls allowed on the internet.

I downloaded Tucker Max’s book because someone was talking about it. I didn’t realize it was just stories from his site that I read (and he wrote) 7 years ago. I still think the guy is a tool. I went to his site because it linked to the special ed teacher’s blog which I could identify with (on a professional level, of course). I’ve tried to write about my clients but most client based entries are venting or sharing some horror show story in attempts to purge it from my mind. No one wants to read a book about crackheads.
Recently, I was working a career fair and I got placed right next to the Disney college internship program. When I was in college, it was widely known that Disney takes anyone, gives them summer jobs making fries and calls it an internship. These suburban kids must not have got the message because they were swarming Disney all day long. One of them even said to me, as he was waiting in line and blocking my table, “Can’t compete with Disney!” Do you think they’re going to hand you a pen (or computer) and say “Make the next Bambi, kid”? No one wanted to get down with the crazy people.

So I need another stupid book to read. I’ve been reading a lot of Buddhism books lately so I need to throw in some candy type books, too. Last one was The Game. Before that, something about zombies. Sometimes I do chick lit but I’ve had enough whiny bitches in real life to read anymore of that right now.

What I did over the weekend:

Played in the City Museum in St. Louis. Chicago needs something like this. It’s a huge indoor/outdoor play/art/museum/aquarium space that kids and adults can enjoy. Ya, most stuff is geared toward kids but they have nights where the museum is just open to adults. They sell beer! They have slides and tunnels leading to mysterious places! They have some rusty bolts!
I liked playing in the caves

and inside of the giant fish

There were lots of slides and tunnels. This slide was awesome because it was really long and all of the bars are handpainted and spin when you run your hands along them. It almost forces you to go down the slide in the hands above your head “whee!” position.

There were lots of random exhibits and I think what I liked best is that there are little or no descriptions on them. Do you really need the history of an object to enjoy it? Is it a little better to make up the explanation yourself?

Inside of a safe door:

After the museum, we went to the Arch.

You can go inside the arch in a frighteningly small tram car. 5 people get squished into one car and in a few minutes are pulled up to the top where there is an observation deck.

I observed East St. Louis and clouds.

It was a good weekend overall. St. Louis is a much better town than I had previously thought. And I finished my tattoo! Yay!

I came back to no boss at work (she is out for the week) which is nice. I came back to a cat pee smelling kitchen which is not nice. Does anyone want a cat? She doesn’t really smell bad/act bad if you do crazy things like clean her litterbox and pay attention to her. She is indoor only and probably would not be good with small kids.

I got off work early today, it was my boss’ way of thanking me for being assistant bitch all day. he group I was helping today was impressed with my hella mad organizational skills. One lady commented ‘You just do everything!’ and without thinking I responded ‘Everything and everyone!’ Ya, that’s why they only let me talk to crackheads.

She says that I will get a day or two off soon for all the extra work I have been doing. It would be nice if those days off coincided with my next trip so I don’t have to take a ’sick day’ but I don’t think things will be back to normal by then.

We still have not got paid. The CEO is going to Springfield tomorrow to get us some moneys. I hope. He’s had meetings with just about every department that pays us and so far I have not seen nearly enough checks come in to cover payroll.

I will be happy when my stimulus check comes. I know I’m supposed to damn the man and save it instead of spend it but I’m spending it on a tattoo. Doesn’t that count as damning the man a little bit?

This keyboard sucks and the shift keys don’t work sometimes so I have to go back and make sure all my capital letters are there. What happened to being able to buy a functional keyboard for $3 at a thrift store? I went looking this weekend and all of the keyboards looked like a child or dog chewed on them. This is what sucks about not hanging out with geeks anymore. I have to go all of the way to the suburbs to steal keyboards from my little brother. I will be in the burbs soon for my neice’s Hanna Montana themed birthday party. Who is wrapping her gift in Miley’s topless picture? The best aunt ever!

When someone says “sunny day” does it make you think of the Sesame Street song?

Fine, it’s just me. You have no soul.

I spent a lot of time at work fixing someone else’s mistakes. A coworker gave me a bunch of addresses and they were all so close but not right. Like 312 Main St instead of 314 Main St. I told on him and it made me feel better.

Boy and I went to a Buddhism study group at a different temple. This one looks like a real temple and it even has real Japanese people! The temple where we have been attending meditation courses is also a dojo and so it looks like a dojo and it’s attended by mostly whiteys. The study group at new temple was more diverse in race and age. And they don’t even do sitting meditation. Lazy Buddhists!

For clarification, the meditation I am referring to at temple/dojo is Zazen. The teacher at the 2nd temple practices Pure Land Buddhism which isn’t so big on the sit down and shut up.

From CuteOverload

I keep saying I’m going to learn to meditate and I think a good opportunity has come up. The boy found beginner meditation classes at a Buddhist temple near his apartment. I don’t know much about Buddhism but their website seems inviting to newbies. I looked up the temple on Yelp, they have 5 stars! I think it’s funny that religious institutions are on Yelp. I want a review that says something like “This church helped me through grandma’s death but needs to lighten up on the chastity thing. 3 stars.”

I’ve thought about sitting down next to the Bible reading, too many question asking coworker and reading the Tao Te Ching but the more I thought about it…she probably has no idea what the book is. I had to explain to a coworker how St. Patrick’s day is celebrated. “Well, there’s a parade..no I don’t march in the parade, I just watch. No, not everyone is Irish, some people just like to go.” How hard is the concept of a parade?

I don’t think I would make a good Buddhist.

I wrote this a while back and never posted it. I feel OK about posting it now. Probably because I’m in a monogamous relationship now and feel somewhat detached from what I wrote because I have an awesome sex life and a boyfriend! But I really was frustrated at the time I wrote this and even though I got what I was looking for, still think what I wrote is valid:

A lot of things run through my head while I try to finish making a cute DIY purse. Mainly, why the hell am I making a purse? I don’t even like purses.

Some other thoughts go a little deeper. I’ve been single for a few months and recently decided to start dating again. Of course that means I’m never going to find anyone to date because that’s what happens when you look. But that dirty Murphy’s Law is not what I was focusing on tonight. Tonight I was thinking about how some girls are the ones you love to fuck and some are the ones you want to date.Why do these have to be two exclusive groups?

I have no trouble finding people to sleep with. Men will fuck anything that offers. And I’m not just referring to one night stands. Men will continue to fuck anything that offers for as long as they can get away with it. The problem is the girl they want to fuck isn’t the girl they want to have a relationship with.

I, along with some of my slutty friends, have been given compliments about having the best kinkiest sex/sexual act or hottest tits/ass/body. In bed they look at you with excitement in their eyes and they smile when other guys check you out in that dress. Sex or sometimes casual dating goes on and then there is an abrupt halt. He stops calling, grows distant, pushes away advances toward a real relationship. Later you find out about the girl that he started dating after you. She’s not as cute, not as good in bed, not as fun but he’s willing to put up with the things she is lacking because she is good girlfriend material. There’s always a feeling of “I was dumped for her?” But there wasn’t any “dumping” because there wasn’t a serious relationship to begin with. There was sex. Damn good sex.

An ex suggested that when pursuing new relationships, I give it up too quickly. He said I should wait and I laughed when he said guys would wait months to get anywhere with a girl they were dating. “Not the guys I date.” I thought. I’m sure he thought “Exactly.”

So I’m supposed to hold out to create this emotional before physical bond? I’m a pretty smart girl and I can multi-task. I can have sex and care about a person! I can see what the ex said being true but I will probably never find out his way. I like sex. I don’t want to wait months before having sex with someone I’m dating. When I start dating someone, I think “Yay, regular sex!”

I’ve read studies on college kids and their tendencies to “hook up” more than date. When these studies are published in women’s magazines, there’s always some bitch saying “Oh these poor girls will never know emotional intimacy.” Hook ups can lead to relationships and relationships to emotional intimacy. Maybe the bitches in the magazines are really saying “sluts don’t get love”. Girls that like sex are not the girls you marry but they are the ones you fantasize about when you’re in having sex with your boring wife. The one you started dating after you dumped the slut.

So why is sex equated with lack commitment? Does it go back to good girls don’t give it up? Sometimes I’ve been told that guys can’t “handle me”. I am an intense person but easily manageable if you can stand up to me. So are men are not confident enough to handle sluts?

I saw Peter Bjorn and John last night at The Vic. I had previously seen them when a coworker and I snuck out of work for a mid-day Apple store appearance. The show at The Vic was the last show of the tour so they were a lot scruffier and possibly drunker than they were at the Apple store.

They played all the songs I knew and a few I didn’t, so maybe they’re working on a new album? They sang Young Folks with the female keyboardist from the opening band. Much better than the bassist/guitarist singing both parts like they did at the Apple store.

I spent the first half of the concert on the floor next to some drunk girls with a flask and the 2nd half sitting way up in the balcony because that’s what the old folks do.

I had orientation today, 3 weeks after I started and learned nothing except the medical insurance choices suck and I don’t get to take my birthday off as a paid holiday because I haven’t been there for 90 days. Not that I was planning on it until I saw that birthdays are included in the paid holidays list. The medical insurance thing bothers me, they only have HMOs and neither of them include the hospital I go to.

The excessively long meetings are making me more tolerant of things like a detailed explanation of how to fill out insurance forms. Maybe it’s because I’m new but I still like listening to the big bosses talk. When the CEO came in and started talking evidence based practices, I was all about it.

When I got back to my office, I saw an invoice for SPSS, statistical software that I really don’t know how to use but said I did in my interview. Looks like I better start whoring myself to math geeks on Craigslist.

I’ve been trying to make the internet find me dates, it’s doing an OK job so far. I keep making up all these rules for the dates/potential dates to follow, some I’m not sure I can follow myself. Maybe most people think “Oh I barely know this person, I can just disappear and it’s cool.” Most likely due to my history with disappearing boy, that’s Not Acceptable. The way I see it is: “I barely know this person, I can say whatever I want with no repercussions! I’m going to tell them I hate them right now!”

I’m so going to write my own dating rules book. And Mystery will not be in it. Know why? Because he’s fucking Canadian.

Still sick but getting better. I had to leave a meeting on Friday because I was coughing so much but that ended up being a good thing since the meeting was really long and boring. Yes, I want to know about the new client tracking program. No, I do not want to watch the IT guy help a coworker who barely knows how to copy and paste how to update this program so it’s ready by a rapidly approaching launch date.

Did you know that Maggie Gyllenhaal is the new Agent Provocateur model? (NSFW) Fucking hot. And did you know AP sells a$300 crop? They call it a whip but it’s clearly a crop.

I will be representing the agency at an internship/job fair on Monday. I’m happy to do it because the fair doesn’t start until noon (sleeping in, yay!) and it means my boss trusts me not to fuck this up. Which means I can’t fuck this up. I was given little prep on this fair other than a few emails forwarded to me and some vague internship descriptions. I stayed late making copies of all the things I’m going to be handing out and bought a new shirt so I will look extra cute. I still have to staple some handouts since I was too impatient to let the copier staple them and actually read the handouts. This is the first time in a long time that I will be bringing work home with me but I really don’t mind. At least not yet. I guess that’s what happens when you like or care about your job.

Everytime I post, I am reminded that I have a draft pending, an entry that I have no posted yet. It’s called “In defense of the slut” and I wrote it a while back but felt like it wasn’t finished. I should work on it some more, it could definitely be basis to more writing and a personal research project. Like cupcake research.

Also, omg what am I going to be for Halloween?