I met my clinical supervisor this week. He is super awesome, I like his counseling style and he is down with my interest in holistic therapy.  Assuming all goes well with the paperwork and my hours, I have about 7 months of volunteering ahead of me. Maybe when I am done they will ask me to be a contractual therapist and I can keep seeing my few clients and (!) get paid!

The client coordinator at the center I will be volunteering at contacted me and said I can start seeing clients anytime. I’m going to go in next week to see how the logistics of seeing clients works and will probably have my first sessions next Saturday. So excited!

I’ve been looking into a certificate at The Stress Institute at Roosevelt University. The certificate is in relaxation, meditation and mindfulness. It’s not exactly what I’m looking for as far as holistic therapy but I can’t find anything else college/university based in the area. Ideally, I would like something similar to the holistic health program at Western Michigan Uni. Without going to Michigan.

Coincidentally, today’s NASW newsletter had a link to an article on Zen of Therapy. The book seems more of a “how to keep your cool when dealing with crackheads” type guide but also talks about incorporating Zen practice into counseling practice with the client.
Earlier in the week I was watching Brad Warner (Hardcore Zen author) debate a sock puppet. The sock puppet thought he was Noah Levine. Silly socks! Noah Levine is also a punk rock Buddhist but he is more like “Raa I almost killed myself with drugs and smashed people and then I found Buddha! Neck tattoos!” Brad Warner isn’t that intense and I’m pretty sure he would still be alive without Buddha. Noah co-founded an organization that uses Buddhist thought in helping incarcerated teenagers. I’ve found a few different Buddhist counseling programs in California. It would seem California is the place to be for what I’m looking for but I’ve seen what Americans do to Eastern ideas when they attempt to mainstream them. (Who wants a Miley Cyrus feng-shui mat?)

Buddha class ended, my head is filled with all sorts of Buddha knowledge that I will soon be unable to recall. Actually, I intend of continuing with this Buddha stuff. I put all of my class info in a nice binder for future reference. I’m going to start meditating more often at the Zen temple closer to me and maybe join one of their study groups.

My friend got married last weekend, I was sick and only able to go to the ceremony before I felt like I was going to fall into a fevery sleep. It was a small ceremony and very nice because Jesus was not mentioned and Henry Miller was.

The GLBT health center finally contacted me. I meet with my clinical supervisor next week at my agency.  I feel all professional, I even booked the conference room because my office is set up weird and there’s a computer desk keeping me from sitting next to anyone.

I’m looking for a new phone because Verizon will give me credit toward a new one and my current phone makes funny sounds other than people’s voices.  I’m thinking about the Samsung Alias because it has a QWERTY keyboard. No, I’m not getting an Iphone. Too big, too breakable, too expensive. And I really have no need for it. The only time I can think of the internet being useful is when I get lost, which I do a lot. I can text Google for addresses, I might be able to do the same for directions. Did you non-internet-on-phone people know you can text GOOGL to get addresses and phone numbers? Very useful.

We have lots of potatoes (because I was going to make meatloaf cupcakes but then got sick) so I’m going to make cheesy potato soup. And it’s going to be awesome.

The coordinator at the GLBT health center contacted me and they finally have an LCSW supervisor for me! Having a goal will take away from the general dullness of my job. I’m doing data entry right now and I’m bitter about it.

I need to take advantage of more outdoor activities before summer is all gone. I went to Ginza festival at a Buddhist temple in Old Town. The temple is really big and had indoor and outdoor vendors, food and dancers. One of their priests (yes, this temple uses the term priest) did a Q&A session on Pure Land Buddhism and the temple. I felt cool because I knew the answers to some of the questions. I’m still liking Zen over Pure Land. I went back to meditation with a friend and will hopefully keep going and get past the horrible feeling of my entire leg falling asleep.

Favorite quote of the night from my Buddhism teacher:
Student: How are these precepts different from The 10 Commandments?
Teacher: You aren’t going to burn in hell.

Also, one of the articles we read today said that many people ignore the precept that says not to drink alcohol. Yay!
I had something I wanted to write last week about Buddhism but cannot remember what exactly it related to now. I know it ended with comparing Buddhism to The Song That Never Ends.

Back to festivals, after Ginza fest I went to North Halsted Market Days. I watched the ROTC perform (Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corps), found an awesome new toy in Tulip that I desire and got into a huge argument/discussion with my friend over transgender people. I already knew she was more conservative/less understanding than I was concerning GLBT issues especially related to fluidity of sexual orientation and gender roles.
I believe sexual orientation is fluid (see Kinsey Scale) and that it would be super awesome if gender roles would move more in that direction.

She spouted some pretty ignorant statements about 1 homosexual encounter=100% homosexual, transgender is OK but not in my house!, bisexuals are just greedy and don’t really exist, it’s not OK for a straight man to feel comfortable around gay men…stuff that I haven’t heard/tolerated in some time. Maybe I do have friends that have similar beliefs but they know better than to voice these things around me. I will argue and in this case, I have many more facts to back me up.

The whole situation just pissed me off, reminded me of arguing with my parents when I was younger, crying when my dad said that the GLBT movement should drop transgender people because they were on the fringe of society, getting harsh feedback from a boss when attempting to educate high schoolers about Matthew Shepard. Even now, educating my coworkers about transgender people and realizing I have to start at “this is what GLBT is.” I have low expectations at work but pretty high expectations of my friends and even my family now. (My dad no longer holds the same opinion of transgender people and my PFLAG award is hanging in my old bedroom.)

So maybe the GLBT health center has good timing.

I went to Buddhism class tonight and there was no teacher. Was this a lesson in self sufficiency? My classmate and I snooped through the temple office and found our teacher’s number. We were concerned since he is in his 80’s and drives from the suburbs to teach. His wife answered and cheerily handed the phone off to our teacher. It was his birthday yesterday and he had forgot..or was running late..or was celebrating. My theory is that he was drunk. I like my theory because I like the idea of an 80+ guy rockin out for his birthday and I like the idea that I can drink and still follow Buddha.

So that wasted about an hour but gave me a little more time to make cookies. I keep forgetting to photograph my cookie making but this one would have really done better with scratch n sniff than pictures. I’m making bacon chocolate chip cookies with maple glaze I had to run to the store to get more bacon because I underestimated the amount of bacon this recipe calls for. After I dumped in my mounds of bacon bits, it looked like too much. But who knows, the dough tastes pretty good even though its hard to get the bacon and chocolate flavor with uncooked dough.

The dough is chilling in the fridge right now and then will get cooked tonight and the glaze will have to wait until tomorrow probably. I’m not sure how all of this will work since my kitchen is super hot and the glaze probably won’t harden.
I will let you know how it turns out.

I’ve been slacking on meditating and not really feeling like I have a good grasp on this whole Buddha thing so I started an intro to Buddha class. I was meditating at a Zen temple/dojo and I’m taking the class at a Pure Land temple.

I’ve talked a little about the difference between Zen and Pure Land but the best comparison I’ve heard so far is that you can walk or take a boat, you’re still going to get to the same place. (That’s not the direct quote but the idea is there.)

That doesn’t mean I am giving up on meditation. I liked meditation especially at the temple. The little bit of ritual helps me focus.

The first class was about the different sects of Buddhism and where they came from. I started thinking about how long Buddhism has been around when the teacher pointed out that certain terms are Sanskrit. One person in class said his family has been part of the temple all of his life but he has never learned the basics. No Sunday school as a kid for him. Buddhism goes much deeper than reading scripture and sticking a Jesus fish on your car. It’s like gender. Society and family teach you what it means to be a girl but they don’t give you a book or make you take lessons on how to be a girl. Some people see Buddhism as more of a culture or philosophy than a religion. Older members of the temple pride themselves on not having studied Buddhism, they say it’s not necessary when you live it.

I like the teacher for this class. He’s an old white guy, retired teacher, a forgetful professor type. He became interested in Buddhism about 30 years ago but I think he comes from a Jewish family. I googled him and found a site with his poetry. Some of his poems are dirty! I am well aware that seniors like to get it on but it’s always surprising to see evidence of it.

The nice weather has put me into a good mood. Pink jelly shoes also put me in a good mood. I had a hard time finding jelly shoes last year but Target has a bunch this year. They’re not comfy or practical but they scream summer nostalgia.
I walked around a lot yesterday. I stopped at Starfruit along the way. They have Kefir frozen yogurt. It’s a little bitter at first but the more I got into my cup of cherry, the more I liked it. And according their noisy, boingy site, it’s all low fat.

When someone says “sunny day” does it make you think of the Sesame Street song?

Fine, it’s just me. You have no soul.

I spent a lot of time at work fixing someone else’s mistakes. A coworker gave me a bunch of addresses and they were all so close but not right. Like 312 Main St instead of 314 Main St. I told on him and it made me feel better.

Boy and I went to a Buddhism study group at a different temple. This one looks like a real temple and it even has real Japanese people! The temple where we have been attending meditation courses is also a dojo and so it looks like a dojo and it’s attended by mostly whiteys. The study group at new temple was more diverse in race and age. And they don’t even do sitting meditation. Lazy Buddhists!

For clarification, the meditation I am referring to at temple/dojo is Zazen. The teacher at the 2nd temple practices Pure Land Buddhism which isn’t so big on the sit down and shut up.

This weekend was my first meditation class. We(boy, coworker and I) ended up going to a different temple than originally planned. The first temple we looked into increased the price for the meditation class the day of the first class. Spending an extra $30 to meditate does not help my zen. So we went to the temple/dojo that my roommate practices aikido at. Their classes are free! They accept donations, of course.

There was a lot of talking and not a lot of meditating which was actually good for a first class. Meditation hurts. My knees and back were not happy. It reminded me how poor my posture is. The leader recommended concentrating on only one thing at a time when you start, either posture or breathing. When you concentrate on breathing, you try to breathe from your stomach and have each breath fill your body. You count your breaths and try to focus on only your breathing, without letting any distractions in. The leader has been practicing for 18 years and cannot always do this. I couldn’t get to 2. I think that says a lot about Western society. We are so rushed and overstimulated, we cannot concentrate for 10 seconds but this is probably something a Buddhist 12 year old in Asia can do.

After meditation we went to Southport Grocer for brunch. That place is soo good. I tried to be a little good and got granola pancakes instead of the incredibly delicious cupcake pancakes (my pancakes were still good, too). I’ve been having a really hard time finding healthy things at restaurants. Some restaurants even fuck up salads and turn them into dressing and cheese covered fat bowls with some lettuce in them. I hate ordering things at restaurants that I could have easily made at home so I’m not down with ordering a wilting fruit plate or a bowl of plain oatmeal. I should just cook more and go out to eat less. But the whole idea that restaurants cannot make at least a few items that are yummy and not dripping with grease pisses me off!

I keep saying I’m going to learn to meditate and I think a good opportunity has come up. The boy found beginner meditation classes at a Buddhist temple near his apartment. I don’t know much about Buddhism but their website seems inviting to newbies. I looked up the temple on Yelp, they have 5 stars! I think it’s funny that religious institutions are on Yelp. I want a review that says something like “This church helped me through grandma’s death but needs to lighten up on the chastity thing. 3 stars.”

I’ve thought about sitting down next to the Bible reading, too many question asking coworker and reading the Tao Te Ching but the more I thought about it…she probably has no idea what the book is. I had to explain to a coworker how St. Patrick’s day is celebrated. “Well, there’s a parade..no I don’t march in the parade, I just watch. No, not everyone is Irish, some people just like to go.” How hard is the concept of a parade?

I don’t think I would make a good Buddhist.