I just got a bag and I am devouring it. It’s bad enough the intern brought a candy dish to work but now I have to bring some home, too?
I am going to be jiggling in all of the wrong places when burlesque class starts.
Speaking of jiggling, I posted my picture in the yearbook of a forum I like. Then I forgot about the page for about a month. I recently check it and I have a bunch of comments from random other users. Most of the comments are calling me fat. I know I shouldn’t care because it’s not like people from this forum know me in real life or matter and their kind of known for being mean. But I think I look good in the picture! I am sticking my hip out at an odd angle but that’s just me trying to make excuses. So I let the internet upset me.

All of my clients bailed on me this week. One called a few days ahead of time with a valid excuse to reschedule, one no called/no showed and I still haven’t heard from her, one canceled right before her appointment but then later rescheduled. One of my rescheduled clients said I’m too young! I pouted about it in supervision today. He was reassuring that I’m not horrible and helped me figure out what to do with my obviously resistant clients. He kept asking questions that I had no answer to but then when he told me what he thought the answer was, it was something so basic. I forgot how easy this counseling thing is.

Busy couple of weeks! Birthdays, bachelorette party, bikes (can’t think of anymore B’s) and clients!
I want to get a bicycle so I can ride in the Halloween Critical Mass. My roommate has convinced me that it’s much fun and I won’t die because it’s a slow ride and there are lots of people. I didn’t feel so reassured by the guy I met today to look at a bike he was selling. I got on and said it was too tall. He asked if I was one of those people that hasn’t been on a bike in 5 years. How did he tell so quickly? Probably the way I gracefully swung my leg over the bike like I was mounting a horse. And 5 years? Try more like 10 aside from pretending to ride away on my niece/nephew’s bike while babysitting. I didn’t get the bike because I couldn’t put my feet flat on the ground. Maybe not everyone needs that in a bike? He was nice about meeting me in the rain to have me reject his bike because I’m short.

And clients! I met with 2 of my clients last weekend. I’m kind of bothered at the disorganization of the agency. They didn’t get me a key to the counseling rooms and I was waiting in the lobby for someone to bring one down. I heard my client arrive and asked the receptionist for a key again and he said “Oh, the person with the keys just walked away.” I reminded him I’m NEW and don’t know the person he is talking about. An introduction would have been helpful. So his next solution was to bang on the door of the counseling area. Great. I did and eventually another staff person lent me her key for the day. So far this key thing has not been resolved because (I was finally informed) volunteers don’t get keys.

My clients are awesome and I know I’m capable of handling their issues but I also know it’s going to take a couple sessions for “counselor mode” to kick in. I can snap to “crisis counselor” right away but regular counseling takes a different level of planning and is about much less tangible things. I met with my supervisor and told him my concerns and he seems pretty convinced that I’m on the right track. I’m doing a good job of identifying core issues, I know what Not to do, I’m eager to offer the client something. What that something is…I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking for too concrete of a solution. I’m used to cognitive-behavioral counseling, crisis intervention and substance abuse group treatment. All very structured. Substance abuse treatment even has steps!

So I’m working on not letting my anxiety freeze me. Work isn’t busy this week, I can read up on the very important 2nd session.

Not going to go into detail about the bachelorette party but dammit if I knew the bachelorette’s mom was going to be there, I would have got her something a bit more tame! I was a bit put off by a party goer going “eww” at my gift. Another said her husband didn’t want her having “things like that.” WTF ladies? Take control of your vajays!
Also a nice drunk boy tried picking me up at the bar after the party. He told me he broke his rib the week before and I responded by hitting him. I’m excellent with men. (He still invited me back to his place and then I snuck out when he wasn’t looking.)

I listened to the MSF webinar today. It’s a useful beginner’s recruitment seminar, I recommend it to anyone interested in working with MSF. I learned that mental health professionals working with MSF have more of a supervisory than a hands on role. That’s kind of disappointing, I wanted to do more hands on work but I do understand the benefit of having local people do the one on one work (if they do employ local people.)
If I wanted to work with them, I’m on the right track, getting my clinical license and having experience with DV and sexual assault victims. I need more clinical experience and experience working in under-developed areas. As ghetto as the West side of Chicago is, I don’t think it counts toward the type of experience they’re looking for. So I would probably have to do some domestic work first.
They also want bilingual workers, French preferred. I took French in undergrad and don’t remember any of it. Relearning French might have a dual purpose, I can use it to score points on Canadian immigration tests if Obama doesn’t win.
It seems like a lot of work but it’s not like I would be applying anytime soon. I need 2 years clinical experience post LCSW. By checking it out now, I can slowly work toward these things and when I am clinically qualified I won’t have to rush to find experiences or skills to be a good candidate. If only I was so prepared about everything in my life!

I met with the client services coordinator at the GLBT health center on Friday. I got files for 3 clients, saw the counseling rooms and called 2 of my clients to schedule for next week. Yay!

My boss at work must sense my boredom. I was supposed to do lots of data analysis for a research project I’m barely involved in. She had a meeting about the project and it was decided that the people directly involved in the project would pull the data, give it to me, I would de-identify it and put it into a pretty spreadsheet and send it to the university we work with and someone there would do the analysis. Yay minimal involvement but still getting my name on the study as support staff!

I went to a grad school fair and talked to some reps for naturopathy programs. Next week I’m watching a recruitment webinar for Doctors Without Borders. Obviously I have no idea which direction I’m going in.

One thing I’m a huge nerd about is Halloween. My coworkers have already started asking when I am going to decorate my office. I hate early decorating (go away Xmas decs!) so I usually wait until October has arrived to decorate for Halloween. This year I am decorating a day early because I am working with an intern that is possibly as geeky as I am about Halloween and she is only in on Tuesdays. So I went shopping for decorations today and I’m going to pull out old decs tonight. I keep my work decs non-ghouly and leave the skulls and monsters for home.

I’ve been thinking about the fall things I like (birthday, Apple Fest, Halloween) and trying not to think about the scary darkness of winter. Winter has things I like too (Germanfest, glugg, oddly colored gingerbread houses, drinking myself to death on New Years Eve) but always has some extra sadness that isn’t there with other times of the year.

I think I found a boxing gym that I can afford. It’s a lot cheaper than the other boxing gyms, maybe because it sucks or maybe because it’s small and newer.

I didn’t see clients this weekend, I’m going in this week to get an overview of the whole client intake/scheduling process. So I will call my clients and see if they want to meet with me this weekend or next. I’m happy to be seeing clients because work has been terribly boring lately but so nervous!

I met my clinical supervisor this week. He is super awesome, I like his counseling style and he is down with my interest in holistic therapy.  Assuming all goes well with the paperwork and my hours, I have about 7 months of volunteering ahead of me. Maybe when I am done they will ask me to be a contractual therapist and I can keep seeing my few clients and (!) get paid!

The client coordinator at the center I will be volunteering at contacted me and said I can start seeing clients anytime. I’m going to go in next week to see how the logistics of seeing clients works and will probably have my first sessions next Saturday. So excited!

I’ve been looking into a certificate at The Stress Institute at Roosevelt University. The certificate is in relaxation, meditation and mindfulness. It’s not exactly what I’m looking for as far as holistic therapy but I can’t find anything else college/university based in the area. Ideally, I would like something similar to the holistic health program at Western Michigan Uni. Without going to Michigan.

Coincidentally, today’s NASW newsletter had a link to an article on Zen of Therapy. The book seems more of a “how to keep your cool when dealing with crackheads” type guide but also talks about incorporating Zen practice into counseling practice with the client.
Earlier in the week I was watching Brad Warner (Hardcore Zen author) debate a sock puppet. The sock puppet thought he was Noah Levine. Silly socks! Noah Levine is also a punk rock Buddhist but he is more like “Raa I almost killed myself with drugs and smashed people and then I found Buddha! Neck tattoos!” Brad Warner isn’t that intense and I’m pretty sure he would still be alive without Buddha. Noah co-founded an organization that uses Buddhist thought in helping incarcerated teenagers. I’ve found a few different Buddhist counseling programs in California. It would seem California is the place to be for what I’m looking for but I’ve seen what Americans do to Eastern ideas when they attempt to mainstream them. (Who wants a Miley Cyrus feng-shui mat?)

I was explaining who Maggie Gyllenhaal is (really how could you not know?) which led me to browsing Donnie Darko trivia on IMDB. Did you know Sparkle Motion was supposed to be dancing to West End Girls but they couldn’t afford to use the song? Neither did I. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to Pet Shop Boys so I went to YouTube to watch their video for West End Girls. Why does this song remind me of Flight of the Conchords? Oh, because they did a parody of it for Inner City Pressure.
So what I’m saying is why don’t I own Donnie Darko? I think I’m going to go see if Reckless Records has a copy.

Buddha class ended, my head is filled with all sorts of Buddha knowledge that I will soon be unable to recall. Actually, I intend of continuing with this Buddha stuff. I put all of my class info in a nice binder for future reference. I’m going to start meditating more often at the Zen temple closer to me and maybe join one of their study groups.

My friend got married last weekend, I was sick and only able to go to the ceremony before I felt like I was going to fall into a fevery sleep. It was a small ceremony and very nice because Jesus was not mentioned and Henry Miller was.

The GLBT health center finally contacted me. I meet with my clinical supervisor next week at my agency.  I feel all professional, I even booked the conference room because my office is set up weird and there’s a computer desk keeping me from sitting next to anyone.

I’m looking for a new phone because Verizon will give me credit toward a new one and my current phone makes funny sounds other than people’s voices.  I’m thinking about the Samsung Alias because it has a QWERTY keyboard. No, I’m not getting an Iphone. Too big, too breakable, too expensive. And I really have no need for it. The only time I can think of the internet being useful is when I get lost, which I do a lot. I can text Google for addresses, I might be able to do the same for directions. Did you non-internet-on-phone people know you can text GOOGL to get addresses and phone numbers? Very useful.

We have lots of potatoes (because I was going to make meatloaf cupcakes but then got sick) so I’m going to make cheesy potato soup. And it’s going to be awesome.

Friday I saw Co-ed Prison Sluts with friends. It was just as funny as I remembered it being 10 years ago. It’s run has been extended, it shows every Friday so go see it. I slap my ass at you!

Saturday I made lots of penis shaped cookies for my friend’s bachelorette party. I made one of the cookies XL and wrote the friend’s fiance’s name on it with icing. He saw it and was slightly horrified. I made goodie bags for the party with fake jewelry, pink shot glasses, cookies and other random things. This is as girly as I get. This friend is having a simple wedding, not making anyone wear stupid dresses, do the Electric Slide, eat bad chicken or any of the other that brides like inflicting on people. I appreciate this and show my appreciation by feeding her drinks that have “ball” in the name and trying to get her to wear a tiara.

I get mad when I see Christmas decorations up in the store in August but I’m already thinking about Halloween. It really is retail’s fault. I went to the store today to buy stuff for my friend’s bachelorette party and the Halloween costumes were already out.

I already saw a cute costume, a zom-bee (undead bee, of course). Or maybe sexy Abraham Lincoln.

Also October means my birthday! Ugh, 29! It looks like the party will be the first weekend in October. I will email out invites so make sure I gots your info.

I recently discovered that there is still a jug of jungle juice from last year’s party in my parent’s freezer. A bunch of alcohol mixed with OJ and fruit punch. Break it out for my bday or use it to blind enemies?